I learned a
remarkable teaching the other day relating to the dark times in our lives and
the plague of darkness in ancient Egypt. “Darkness” - deep discomfort - is necessary
for breaking free. Contrary to the idea that religion is the opium of the masses,
and that spiritual practice should make us feel good, in the short term, is the simple truth that growth requires some discomfort.
Our lives take on familiar patterns. Comedian Jim Carey struggled with depression, despite his fame and success. Reflecting on his experience, he said,” depression is your body saying it had enough” [he used more colourful language.] ”…I don’t want to be this character anymore. I don’t want to hold up this avatar that you created in the world. It’s too much for me”. His point is that it’s totally pointless to spend our whole lives creating and curating an identity for ourselves. This is all propping up our ego: desiring to be important, to be someone, to ‘matter’[i].
To be free, from a spiritual and emotional perspective, is to realise our potential and be oriented to, and focused on, our purpose rather than our ‘brand’ and others’ perceptions of us[ii]. The Talmudic sages stated, “there is no one who is free, other than one who is occupied with the Torah[iii]”.
From Chasidic/Kabbalist and allegorical perspectives, the ten plagues that were inflicted on the Egyptians at the time of the exodus were powerful forces that contributed to spiritual liberation[iv].
Of all the ten plagues, only one - darkness - was so important that it is predicted to be repeated, for fifteen days, during the final redemption by the Messiah[v]. It struck me as odd; how can darkness be critical for positive transformation?
My takeout from this is that, in seeking to negotiate my relationship with God and personal growth, perseverance is needed when something doesn’t immediately click and doesn’t feel right. It might be because it is out of my comfort zone rather than because ‘it is not for me’.
According to tradition, during the plague of darkness, any Jewish people who did not wish to leave Egypt died[viii]. This will also be the case for those in future who will not want to leave the state of exile[ix]. This represents the agony that can be experienced with significant change. Experiences of ‘darkness’ invite us to reflect on the choice between growth and stagnation, and a kind of death. We are forced to ask ourselves ‘are we willing to give up, or do we have the fight in us?’ Is the pain of growth unbearable? The answer must be “I will not die, but live[x]!”
It has been said that “breakdown is often breakthrough[xiii]”. The dark times in our lives can be like having “fallen down a ravine, falling into the gap between who you are and who you want to be[xiv]”.
[i] https://www.elephantjournal.com/2017/11/jim-carrey-explains-depression-in-the-best-way-ive-ever-heard/
[ii]
Lowenthal, T, https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/2754/jewish/Freedom-in-Five-Dimensions.htm
[iii] Pirkey
Avot 6:2
[iv]
The Zohar cited in https://www.chabad.org/parshah/article_cdo/aid/819472/jewish/Fire-and-Ice.htm
and Schneerson, Rabbi M.M, in Likutei Sichos vol 1, Vaera
[v] The
Zohar, cited in Chida on the Chumash, Shemot, p. 89. Note also Isaiah 60:2
[vi] Exodus
10:21
[vii]
Yaakov Yosef of Polnoah, one of the Chasidic masters, in Toldos Yaakov Yosef,
parshas Bo, p. 148
[viii]
Shmos Rabba, 14:3
[ix] The
Zohar, cited in Chida as cited above
[x]
Psalms 118:17
[xi]
Exodus 16:23-25
[xii]
Yaakov Yosef of Polnoah, p. 147
[xiii]
Laing, R.D. in Haig, M, (2015), Dear Stranger, Letters on the Subject of
Happiness, Penguin Books, p. 34
[xiv]
Haig, M, (2015), Dear Stranger, Letters on the Subject of Happiness, Penguin
Books, p. 34
