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“Nicky[1]
has gotten married and will now be wearing the Niqab, she will even be covering
her eyes”. This piece of news was about a talented young woman I have worked
with. I was taken aback.
Some would say, so what?! The relativists or post-modernists might say that I have no right to an opinion, because all cultural or religious decisions are basically equal. I think that, in a way, saying that all behaviours are equal can be a cop out from dealing with our own opinions or biases. I am interested in considering this from a more robust coexistence perspective, how comfortable am I with this? Do I have reservations? A useful starting point in seeking to make sense of this for myself is to consider some religious ideas in my own tradition about women’s beauty.
Some would say, so what?! The relativists or post-modernists might say that I have no right to an opinion, because all cultural or religious decisions are basically equal. I think that, in a way, saying that all behaviours are equal can be a cop out from dealing with our own opinions or biases. I am interested in considering this from a more robust coexistence perspective, how comfortable am I with this? Do I have reservations? A useful starting point in seeking to make sense of this for myself is to consider some religious ideas in my own tradition about women’s beauty.
There are various views about female beauty in Jewish
tradition; some of these are expressed about a donation of women’s mirrors. The
Torah states, “And he made the washbasin
of copper[2]
and the base thereof of copper, of the mirrors of the serving women that did
service at the door of the tent of meeting[3]”. The Midrash tells a story about two responses to this
donation. “when the Israelites
were involved in back breaking work (as slaves) in Egypt, Pharaoh decreed that
they should not sleep at home…the women would go down to draw water from the Nile,
God will prepare small fish for them in their jugs, they would sell these and
cook some of them and they would buy wine and go out to the fields and feed
their husbands…as they were eating and drinking they would take out the mirrors
and look at their them with their husbands, she would say I am prettier than
you, he would say I am better looking than you and through this they brought
themselves to desire and were fruitful and multiplied…(much later when the
tabernacle was being created in the desert) the women brought these mirrors to
Moses. When Moses saw them he was angry with them. He said to the Israelites,
take sticks and break their thighs! These mirrors, what are they needed for?!
But God said to Moses, Moses, these you despise?! These mirrors are the ones
that (are responsible) for the rising legions (of Israelites) in Egypt. Take
them and make the washbasin for the priests, from it the priests will be
sanctified[4]”.
The attitude in this source sees feminine beauty as a
positive thing, at least in the context of a marriage. This view is perhaps
taken further in the anecdote about the Lubavitcher Rebbe visiting a dormitory
in a seminary for single women and he expressed concern about why there were no
mirrors in the rooms[5].
On the other side of the argument are the views that what was
positive about the donation of mirrors was the symbolism of rejecting vanity
implied by giving them away. “It is the
way of all women to beautify themselves, looking at their faces in mirrors…
each morning to adjust their hair coverings…as the custom of the Israelite
women was like the custom of the Arabs till today. But there were among Israel,
women who worshipped the Almighty and distanced themselves from the desires of
this world. They contributed their mirrors to the Tabernacle since they no
longer had the need to beautify themselves. Instead they came every day…to pray
and listen to hear matters of the commandments[6]”. This rejection of vanity, by the
modest women[7],
led to them having the spirit of God rest on them[8].
In orthodox practice today, there is an insistence on modesty.
Women in particular are expected to be careful to cover up much of their bodies,
although these laws also apply to Men. There is the added requirement for
married women to cover their hair, just as Nicky is not increasing her degree
of covering. I can also still remember the on-going nagging/urging girls within
my orthodox Jewish upbringing, to better cover themselves, an endless talk
about socks, elbows and knees etc. The parallels between the traditions don’t
make the idea of the Niqab comfortable for me, I am concerned about the limits it
places on women. But the parallels help me recognise similar reactions by
religions to the challenges presented by lust or perhaps more noble ideas about
modesty. There is a strong argument that women should have the right to wear as
little or as much as they want. Certainly in western countries, this is the
culture and that must be and is respected by many of those with other ideas and
ways. I can also see the point of religious people trying to focus minds on the
spiritual and preserve sexual restraint wanting to minimize the temptation.
Then there are the questions of male domination and gender
equality. Of course male power is a problem outside religious communities as
well as within the “patriarchal religions”. In at least one case that I am
familiar with, the woman is wearing the Niqab over the objections of her deeply
devout husband. She has made the decision, rejecting her husband’s scholarly
opinion with her own formidable scholarship. Without first-hand knowledge, I
still think there is a legitimate concern that in some cases and places such as
Iran male coercion is the motivation which I strongly object to. I also think
there is merit to the argument that if men have a problem than they should bear
the burden, rather than it being borne by women. This might even relate to the
argument about whose responsibility it is to avoid being damaged, the one doing
the damage or the one being damaged[9].
One extremely pious Rabbi who recently passed away, went so far as to walk down
the street with his eyes closed, guided by an attendant.
It saddens me to think that while Nicky will never be able
to use her winning smile or expressive eyes to argue a case, equally devout men
only need to wear a white gown, cover their knees but can have their face uncovered
which means they can participate more easily in the world. Perhaps it would be
nice for Muslim men to be required to wear a burqa, and Jewish men to have to
worry about covering their elbows and hair, so as not to tempt women with their
handsome good looks. In my own tradition, women’s desire is taken very
seriously and according to some views[10],
the significance of the mirrors relates to the test administered to the
suspected straying woman[11]
who drank water from the very basin created out of the mirrors donated by these
pure women[12].
Perhaps, more important than all the intellectual arguments
is the following bit of context. Nicky is passionate about interfaith and has
done a lot of work with Jews, Christians and even Agnostics. She believes it is
her duty as a Muslim. In my dealings with her, I have always been impressed by
her intelligence, and integrity. She has
done very well academically and comes across as a completely normal young
Australian woman. Nicky’s mother told me about her own mother who migrated to
Australia from Lebanon where she wore the Niqab. When Nicky’s grandmother arrived
in Australia it was explained to her that she needed to leave it behind and
assimilate. She tried so hard to fit in that she did not dare teach her daughter
about her faith. At school the Christian children went to a religious class
once a week, while she went to the library for “non-scripture”. One day Nicky’s
mother came home and asked her mother why they did not believe in anything!
That began a journey back to practicing the faith. Still, the granddaughter was
discouraged from being too religious or wearing a headscarf, or hijab. She
insisted. Now she has taken it to the next level and closed the circle.
I find it hard to imagine a God who would not be impressed by Nicky’s sincerity. I still don’t love the Niqab and I am sad about the limits it puts on Nicky, but I deeply respect the integrity of her decision and continue to value her as multi-faceted precious human being. If I see someone in a Niqab walking down the street, I will not make any assumptions about the person wearing it, for all I know it could be Nicky, or someone like her.
I find it hard to imagine a God who would not be impressed by Nicky’s sincerity. I still don’t love the Niqab and I am sad about the limits it puts on Nicky, but I deeply respect the integrity of her decision and continue to value her as multi-faceted precious human being. If I see someone in a Niqab walking down the street, I will not make any assumptions about the person wearing it, for all I know it could be Nicky, or someone like her.
[1]
Not her real name, however she also goes by an English rather than an Arabic name.
[2]
Other translate it as brass or bronze
[3]
Exodus 38:8, translation mostly from http://www.mechon-mamre.org/p/pt/pt0238.htm
, much of the translation is contested
[4]
Midrash Tanchuma, Pekudei 9, Rashi
[6] R.
Avraham Ibn Ezra, and Seforno
[7]
Targum Yonatan Ben Uziel
[8]
Baal Haturim
[9]
Talmud Bava Basra 18b, both options are discussed but generally the onus is on
the one causing the damage
[10]
Bchor Shor, Klei Yakar
[11]
Numbers 5:12-31
[12]
Bamidbar Rabba 9:14
