Dominance vs Acceptance and Lamekh’s Song

After a soul-replenishing walk the other day, I walked out of the bush onto a path where I saw a little dog ahead. From the dog’s perspective, a strange man was approaching and this was a problem. A few loud barks did not persuade the man to back off  ̶  he continued to approach. This required an escalation: first circling the stranger and barking even more menacingly and then a warning bite! The bite through my clothing didn’t pierce the skin, but the dog had asserted itself!  

Unlike that dog, humans have choices. Situations that at first may feel adversarial can be resolved through conversations that uncover misunderstandings or alternative solutions. I have been working on acceptance of how things are, and letting go of expectations about how others “should” be or behave. We have a choice about how we react to anxiety either by seeking to control others, or by letting go (1), with trust in God and respect for others’ right to choose what they wish to do or give.  

In Genesis, we read about Cain, whose name means “acquisition” (2). When his brother Abel’s offering was favoured by God, while his was rejected (3), Cain failed to “acquire” the approval he craved. His “face fell (4) ”. In his status anxiety, Cain failed to follow God’s guidance to improve himself and manage his drives or impulses (5). Instead, in an outburst of violence, he murdered his brother. The anger he felt was so overwhelming that he thought – in error – that he had no choice in the matter (6) .

Worse than crimes of passion are acts of violence and ways of unethical domination that are not impulsive but premeditated (7). When some people see the ways that intimidating others can allow them to take what they want, they either inflict violence or threaten to do so to get their way (8).

Cain’s descendant Lemekh embraced violence. He had contempt for the “respectable people” of his time, descendants of Adam and Eve’s other son Seth, who shunned the Cainites because of their murderous and condemned ancestor (9). Lemekh tried to revise history, creating myths to recast Cain as a hero. “Our father Cain did not wimpishly relinquish his status as the firstborn son of Adam and Eve. When he was insulted by Abel and God, Cain defended his honour (10)”. In this way, Lemekh thought that Cain had been rehabilitated, and the Cainites had restored their past glory.

Lemekh was wrong. Rather than him changing the past, the past was a strong influence on him and his family. Wicked ways that are deeply embedded in people’s hearts, such as Cain’s embrace of murder, anger and dominance, can be perpetuated in families (11), an example of “visiting the sins of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children's children… (12)”. Indeed, Tuval Cain, one of Lemekh’s sons, built on his ancestor’s murderous legacy (13) by being the first to create weapons (14).

Tuval Cain’s siblings were all pioneers, one in developing agri-business (15) and the accumulation of wealth (16), another in the arts, the “father” of all musicians (17), and their sister Naama was a talented singer (18). The siblings complemented Lemekh’s repair of the past by creating a glorious future (19).

After the description of Lemekh’s talented family in the Tanach, there is a plot twist. Lemekh tells his wives that he killed a man and a boy (20) in retaliation (21) for some kind of wound and a bruise. Lemekh’s story about these killings is in the form of a song (22), a war song, as Biblical songs tend to be (23). It is a dramatic warning to his wives that he is far tougher than Cain and if they dare defy his wishes, such defiance will be met with violent vengeance and him killing them. This was his way of dominating his wives as if they were slaves, or property, for him to do with as he pleased (24).

      
An alternative interpretation identifies the slain man and boy as Lemekh’s ancestor Cain and his own son Tuval Cain, killed in a series of accidents, rather than acts of vengeance (25). Lemekh’s song is seen as a bitter “last testament of a Cainite seer. (26)” Instead of the pride and joy in his family’s accomplishments, Lemekh sees the symbolism of his killing his ancestor and son as representing the failure of the Cainite approach. “Alas, I have not rehabilitated my ancestor, I killed him! I murdered the youth! And in doing so, I inflicted the deepest wound on myself! We have destroyed the past and the future and gained no present.” Lemekh recognised that he was morally damaged, “bruised and wounded (27) ” by the legacy of anger and murder that he inherited from Cain and that shaped him and his weapons-manufacturing son, Tuval-Cain (28).  Lemekh declared: “Cain-ism must be repudiated!”

Lemekh’s lament is a call for us to reject dominance in favour of humble acceptance of that which we cannot control.  His song is about the ultimate painful cost of coercion and threats that far exceed any short-term benefits.  Inflicting or threatening “punishments” can destroy family ties and friendships (29), often with great harm to the perpetrator. Instead, let us affirm the dignity and rights of all people, with assertiveness, forgiveness, patience, tolerance, curiosity and compassion.   

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[1]Jeffers, S. (2012), Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway, Revised, Vermilion, London, p. 232-233

[2] Genesis 4:1

[3] Genesis 4:3-5

[4] Genesis 4:5-6

[5] Genesis 4:7

[6] Leiner, J, the son of the Ishbitzer, in Beis Yaakov al Hatora, Bereshit, 70, on Sefaria https://www.sefaria.org/Genesis.4.23?lang=he&with=Beit%20Yaakov%20on%20Torah&lang2=he  

[7] Liebovitz, N, New Studies In Bereshit Genesis, 6, p. 46, I use the term unethical domination to exclude cases where legitimate authority is exercised eg. by the parent of a young child about to cause harm to themselves or others, or a police officer protecting a vulnerable person from someone seeking to harm them.  

[8] Genesis, 6:2, “the sons of the powerful saw the daughters of man, that they were good and they took women from all that they chose”

[9] R Ephrayim, based on a lost midrash, cited in Azulai, C. Y. D. Chidoh, in Torat Hachido, p. 38- 115 

[10] Medan, Y. The Song of Lemekh – The First Song in the Bible, https://etzion.org.il/en/tanakh/torah/sefer-bereishit/parashat-bereishit/bereishit-song-lemekh-%E2%80%93-first-song-bible

[11] Talmud, Berakhot 7a, as interpreted by Medan, Y. following the approach of Ralbag on the Torah, Shemot 20:1:3, and Leiner,

[12] Exodus 34:7

[13] Rashi, on Genesis 4:22

[14] Genesis 4:22

[15] Hirsch, S.R. on Genesis 4:21

[16] Malbim on Genesis 4:21

[17] Genesis 4:21

[18] Me’am Loez

[19] Hirsch, S.R. on Genesis 4:21

[20] Genesis 4:23

[21] Malbim’s commentary to 4:23, C. Y. D. Chidoh, in Torat Hachido, p. 38- 115, Medan, Y.

[22] Hirsch, S.R. on Genesis 4:23

[23] Medan, Y.

[24] Malbim

[25] Midrash Tanchuma

[26] Hirsch

[27] Genesis 4:23

[28] Leiner, Y, 71

[29] Perhaps there is a difference where relationships fail because people cannot bear to be in the presence of someone and continuing to be together will cause distress or emotional harm, and other situations where such differences can likely be tolerated but the effort is not made due to either a sense – perhaps sub-conscious - that the other person deserves to be punished or of righteous indignation. 

Kashrut, Rules and Spirit An Interfaith Perspective

Religion can be expressed either as self-transcending and compassionate or as ritual and rules. On the fourth day of Passover, I listened to a Muslim scholar, Dr Samir Mahmoud, assert that all things are alive and sentient, that the Prophet Mohamed listened to pebbles whispering and that Halal should, more rigorously, include ethical considerations such as the conditions in which animals are kept prior to slaughter. I felt moved as I listened to him.

Our weekly Torah reading contains many mundane laws for Kosher food [1], which come across very differently from Dr Mahmoud’s talk. This begs the question: is Judaism more interested in the rules than the spirit?  

Rules!

There is no denying that there are a lot of rules in Judaism. On Passover, when my family and I performed the Seder, we read about the “clever son” who asks a question about the three types of rules of Passover [2]. The question annoyed me; it seemed so technical and to miss the awe-inspiring bigger picture of the Exodus, such that I felt like crossing out his question and replacing it with: “How can the Exodus story inspire me and our community to be better versions of ourselves and to maintain hope in trying times?”

One way of understanding the rules is that they lead to self-transcendence. This idea is expressed in this teaching, “What does God care whether one slaughters an animal from the throat or from the nape? Thus, we learn that the mitzvot were given only to refine the people” [3]. In other words, the rules are a means to an end. As we prepare and eat our food, we think about divine rules and this leads us to think about our creator, develop self-control and become better, more mindful people [4].  Indeed, the ending of the Kashrut chapter in Leviticus includes a call to holiness. [5]

 

Laws Beyond Rationale

Another way to think about Kashrut is that we do it because God commanded us to do so. When the laws are introduced in Leviticus, it says nothing about mindfulness. This animal is permitted as food because it has split hooves and chews its cud; the other one is forbidden because it does not [6]. This is the way many Jews experience Kashrut [7] and how I would usually relate to it.

Harmful Food

Two more approaches assume that the problem with unkosher food lies in the food itself, that either these foods are harmful to your health [8], or that they contain spiritual or chemical properties that dull your spiritual sensitivity [9] and they create cruelty in your heart in the case of eating the flesh of predators [10]. Hasidism teaches that there are divine sparks in all things – similar to Mahmoud’s point – but the sparks in Kosher foods can be elevated by eating with positive intention, while non-Kosher foods are “tied down” and cannot be elevated, regardless of one’s intentions [11]. 

Evidence

However, the health thesis has been strongly rejected on the basis of evidence [12]. We see non-Jewish people who eat non-Kosher food and are healthy. However, this same logic surely applies to the spiritual properties approach, one of the arguments being that if these foods are spiritually harmful, then non-Jewish people who do not keep Kosher should be of inferior character, which is manifestly untrue. Furthermore, if these foods are so inherently spiritually harmful, shouldn’t non-Jewish people be protected from them [13]? 

About the person, not the food

A careful reading of the Torah text in Leviticus suggests that the problem with these foods is more about the person eating them than about the foods alone. Sixteen (16) times in this passage, we have variations of the idea that these are a problem for you [14]. According to the Midrash, the prohibition of these foods will be reversed in the messianic era and are only forbidden now to see if we will obey the divine command [15].

Our tradition teaches us not to proclaim that we do not want to eat the flesh of the pig, but rather to say, “I want to eat it but I won’t because my heavenly Father decreed that I should not” [16]. The process of self-denial itself transforms the person who overcomes their desires [16].   Experiments by psychologist, Roy Baumeister, found that intentional eating, or eating “virtuous food”, such as radishes or celery while resisting the temptation to indulge in chocolate takes a lot out of us. The people who ate radishes “will [tend to] give up earlier than normal when faced with a difficult cognitive task” [18]. If one practices the Kosher laws as intended according to this approach, it could be a taxing, and intense but ultimately might be a rewarding effort

Chewing it over

The link between spiritual and personal growth and Kosher eating is linked symbolically to one of the signs that an animal that is “chewing the cud”, literally and figuratively, is Kosher. After the animal swallows its food, it regurgitates it and chews on it again. “… we have to constantly re-evaluate our situation – reflect and prob our conscience - and make certain that we are on the right path” [19].

Conclusion

In the interfaith encounter we must not exaggerate or understate our similarities. Dr Mahmoud’s understanding of his faith and the nature of all things and its relationship to Islamic dietary laws is different to the teachings I cited about Kosher. On the other hand, the striving for the transcendent and compassionate is expressed in both our faiths and in the strivings of people of all faiths or none. As a Hasidic Jew, I too am taught to see spiritual life in all of creation [20] and to see links between my practice, ethics [21] and spiritual growth, following the unique pathways and rules of the Torah.  

 

Thank you to Hazel Baker for editing this blog post. Her edits have made this post clearer and stronger. Thank you.

Notes

 

1)       Leviticus 11

2)       The Passover Haggada, the four sons.

3)       Bereshit Rabba, 44

4)       R Bchaya on Leviticus 11, R Haim Donin in To be A Jew.

5)       Leviticus 11:44-45

6)       Leviticus 11:3-7, according to Maimonides, Guide for the Perplexed, 3:46, there signs are not reasons, they are only ways of identifying which animals are Kosher or not-Kosher

7)       Orenstien, W. and Frankel, H, (1960) Torah as our Guide, Hebrew Publishing Company, p. 27, “unlike many other laws in the Torah, the reason for these [dietary] laws is not given… Learned men of every generation have tried to explain them, but to this day no one has found the reason for them. But we observe these laws because they are the will of God.

8)       Maimonides, Guide for the Perplexed, 3:46

9)       Talmud Yoma, 39a as interpreted by others such as Mesilas Yesharim 11, the Talmud itself is talking about sin in general rather than specifically the properties of non-kosher food. “…sin stupefies the heart of a person, as it is stated: “And do not impurify yourselves with them.””

10)    Ramban, Leviticus 11:13

11)    Tanya Chapter 8

12)    Arama, R. Yitzchak in Akeidat Yitchat, Gate 60, Abarbanel on Shemini,

13)    An internet user going by the name Maximilian asked a question along these lines on the Ask Noah forum: “Hello! Is it alright according to Torah if I [as a non-Jewish person] avoid eating ‘unclean animals’ like G-d spoke in Leviticus 11? Even before Noah was on the Ark G-d spoke about clean and unclean animals, in Genesis 7,2. I can imagine that trying to avoid these spiritually unclean animals can help to get a better relationship with G-d? I feel better eating just animals which G-d called clean, is it okay if I do so?”

14)    Leviticus 11:4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 20, 26, 27, 28, 29, 32, 37, 40. Rabbi David Zvi Hoffman in his commentary to Leviticus page 216, makes the point that in Judaism the animals are not intrinsically bad, unlike his understanding of Zoroastrianism. It must be said that the Torah does attribute an element of “not pure” or pure to non-Kosher and Kosher animals respectively, in Genesis 7:2, I don’t think that attribute cancels the sixteen references to “Lachem” to you, in Leviticus 11.

15)    Midrash Tehillim 146:3 (explaining the verse "He permits what is forbidden”). What is meant by permitting what is forbidden? Some say that all the animals that became impure in this world, God will purify them in the future. As it says (Ecclesiastes 1:9) “What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again.” They were pure for the children of Noah. And He also said to them (Genesis 9:3) “Every moving thing that lives shall be food for you. I have given you all.” Just as I have given you the green plants, I give you everything. Why did He forbid it? To see who accepts His words and who does not. And in the future, He will permit everything that He forbade

16)    Sifra on Leviticus 2:26.

17)    Arama, R. Yitzchak in Akeidat Yitchat, Gate 60.

18)    Buameister, R, in Kahneman, D., (2021) Thinking Fast and Slow, Penguin Books, p. 42.

19)    The Lubavitcher Rebbe, Likutei Sichos Vol 1, as reworked by Yitzi Hurwitz

20)    R. Schneur Zalman of Liadi in the Tanya, section 2, Sha’ar Hayichud V’Haemuna

21)   The problem of how animals are treated in preparation for human consumption is addressed under the laws of cruelty to animals, Tzaar Baale Chayim.

A Father’s Bat Mitzvah Speech - Bubbies, Broken and Butterflies

Fear, will and love. Three powerful feelings that reflect your three namesakes, Shifra the midwife in Egypt and your grandmothers, Golda Kastel and Brocha Stark. Feelings that I hope will drive you, dear Shifra, to grow from the child you have been into a woman who accomplishes great things.

This change can be compared to the transformation of the caterpillar. It begins by forming a chrysalis. Inside the chrysalis, the caterpillar's body breaks down and reorganises into the butterfly form.

Sometimes, people feel a little broken, disappointed, anxious, and unsettled. Things are often very different from how they should be, around us or in us.

In the Torah portion this week, we read about a sacrifice ceremony for dealing with some sins (1). The word used for sin can alternatively be translated as a lacking (2). 

Part of the ceremony involved cooking the meat of the animal that was sacrificed. If a clay pot was used for the cooking, the pot must be broken (3) in a holy place (4). This holy breaking is understood to be symbolic.  The founder of Hasidism, the Baal Shem Tov, taught that the broken pot represents a broken heart (5) that leads us to grow and improve, just like the breakdown of a caterpillar’s body allows it to become a butterfly.

Change is scary. Your namesake, the Biblical Shifra, was one of the midwives in Egypt. Pharaoh demanded that she kill all the baby boys, but she refused (6). Her refusal was based on positive fear of disappointing God, which made her fearless in disobeying a tyrant.  Fear is like having butterflies in your stomach. It is unpleasant, but the right kind of fear can motivate you to still do what is right, even when it is difficult.

Don’t ever try to eliminate your ability to feel fear but choose your fear. Make sure you are in awe of God alone and wary of not doing what is right. Never be afraid of people who behave, even temporarily, like a Pharaoh. They are not important enough.

Pharaoh was not the only one to threaten the Jewish people and frighten us.

Another of your three names, Brocha, is after your grandmother, Brocha Stark. She was a Holocaust survivor who came to Australia after unimaginable horrors and created a home for her family. Together with her husband, she helped create a new community that included the Yeshiva College, which later became your school, Kesser Torah College.

After everything she went through, Nanna Brocha found the willpower to create beautiful Yiddishkeit and family in Australia. And you, Shifra Golda Brocha, are part of the beautiful butterfly that she created.

The willpower of your namesake, Brocha can inspire you. “If someone’s desire is strong, it can crumble mountains and break stones” (7). Your mountains are waiting for you. You will smash them!

Nanna Brocha was also a giant of love. Her grandchildren would often spend time in her home. On Purim she sent us the most delicious Mishloach Manos (Purim food gifts), with the best treats that could possibly be created out of nuts, flour and sugar.

Love was also a super-power of your third namesake, your grandmother, Golda Kastel.

She was incredibly devoted to her family, supporting her husband in sustaining a Jewish school in Boston for many years. I was an anxious teenager who sometimes lacked confidence. I sometimes felt like an ordinary caterpillar. But Bobby Golda showered me with love and made me feel special.

At her 70^th birthday party in Baltimore, I spoke. I said that Bobbi’s love had magically transformed me from a caterpillar into a butterfly.

Shifra, you have been given gifts of fear, will and love. We all love you so much. You mean the world to us. Mazal Tov, dear Shifra. Be strong and be a great woman (8). Fly high and with grace, our new beautiful butterfly.

.

This a revised version of my speech to my daughter on celebrating her Bat Mitzvah

(1)    Leviticus 6:18-23

(2)    The Lubavitcher Rebbe, "חטא", מלשון חיסרון https://www.chabad.org.il/ParashotArticles/Item.asp?ArticleID=921&CategoryID=78

(3)    Leviticus 6:21

(4)    Chizkuni commentary to 6:21

(5)    The Baal Shem Tov, כש"ט ח"ב דכ"ב ע"א; בעל שם טוב, לראש השנה ויום כפור כ״ז:א׳

(6)    Exodus 1:15-17

(7)    Rabbi Shmuel of Sochotchovאין לך דבר העומד בפני הרצון,, רבי שמואל בורנשטיין זצ"ל מסוכטשוב (נפטר בשנת תרפ"ו) בספר שם משמואל (פרשת תרומה שנת תער"ב בסופו

(8)    Kings I, 2:2, paraphrasing. 

Settled Soul Practices Clarity Coherence and Calm.

It is the first week of February. Sadly, this is where New Year resolutions go to die. However, I am feeling confident that for me, this year it will be different.

In early January, I was sitting on a plane somewhere over the Pacific when I encountered, what I hope will be, life changing wisdom about “settled souls”. I used to think that a settled soul was an outcome. Instead, I learned that being a settled soul was an ethical practice. One of my commitments for 2025 is to live by “settled-soul” practices of clarity, coherence, calm and presence.

To better understand how this works, let us consider the opposite of the settled soul, “the scattered soul”[i]. An example of this state can be found in the ways of Jacob’s son Reuben. Jacob spoke harshly on his deathbed to Reuben, criticising him for being hasty, rash or impetuous, like water[ii].

The problem with haste is discussed in the teaching of the Musar (ethical development) movement[iii]. One of the leaders of this movement taught the importance of the calm mind that is not hassled. This consists of having clear direction in life, living in coherence with one’s principles and not pursuing vices and lusts that cause a person to leap from one temptation to another. A lack of moral clarity can be masked by mannerisms that appear calm on the outside, but it is the internal clarity and coherence that matters. 

Once a person has this clarity, it is then important to focus and be present to whatever she or he is doing. In contrast to the multitasker, whose attention is constantly shifting between one thing and another, the settled soul is highly intentional with their attention. When Abraham became aware of visitors in his peripheral vision, he considered whether to look up, which, when he did, is described as “Abraham lifted his eyes”[iv].  For me, this means putting my phone out of reach when studying Torah and ignoring the dinging announcements of new WhatsApp messages.

The saddest example of Reuben being unsettled was his failure to save his younger brother, Joseph, from the rest of their brothers when they were plotting to kill him. First he advocated against harming the boy, then he disappeared. During Reuben’s absence, Joseph was sold into slavery. Reuben returned too late, and was beside himself with grief. “And I, where, can I ever come [home]”.[v]

One of the key practices of the settled soul is to do one thing at a time. Yet, Reuben could not stay focused on saving Joseph. He was off doing other things but failed to come through for someone who needed him.[vi]

For the last four weeks, I have been focused on the aim of living the settled-soul way. I am doing more of what I am committed to and feeling healthier and often more energetic. Now, I am thinking about retaining this approach.

When the Hebrew slaves were liberated from Egypt, there was the very real possibility that they would go right back.[vii] For me, the Exodus from Egypt represents my personal redemption from the tyranny of more limited ways of being[viii] but, like my ancestors, I am concerned about regression.

Nutritionist, Yehudis Kluwgant stated that ‘to lose weight and change to a healthy lifestyle, a person needs to change their identity, beliefs and values.’[ix] When the Hebrews left Egypt, they were first referred to simply as ‘the people’.[x] When they agreed to trust God completely and go into the desert where nothing grows[xi], their name and identity changed.[xii] They were then called the sons of Israel[xiii], symbolic of mastery of spiritual struggles.[xiv] I feel like something has shifted in me over these last few weeks, and in a sense, I am a new person. If this is correct, I think it is likely that my New Year’s resolution will endure long past early February.

   

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[i] Rabbi Y. Y. Schneerson, Naaseh Nuh Aliyas Kir Ktana, in Sefer Hamaamarim Kuntreisim, vol. 1, p. 332,

[ii] Genesis 49:4

[iii] ר' שמחה זיסל זיו[iii] Rabbi Simcha Zisl, known at der Alter fun Kelm, a leader of the Kelm Musar
אור רש"ז, מאמר קע"ט, עמוד רכה

[iv] Genesis 22:4

[v] Genesis 37:18-30

[vi] The Lubavitcher Rebbe in Likutei Sichos, vol. 15, p. 445.

[vii] Exodus 13:17

[viii] The Lubavitcher Rebbe

[ix] In a conversation on 3.02.2025

[x] Exodus 13:17 refers to the Hebrews as the people three times

[xi] Jeremiah 2:2

[xii] Klei Yakar on Exodus 13:17

[xiii] Exodus 13:18

[xiv] Genesis 32:29

Bullies, Patriarchy and Death of the First Born Sons

We cheer for the little guy when we see a bully making threats and throwing their weight around. It is the principle that “Might does not make right! Right makes right[i]” that is at the heart of the story in which God killed the first-born sons of Pharoah’s Egypt[ii]. This principle is also a significant aspect of the most important story of Judaism, the Exodus from Egypt, that is acknowledged twice daily by religious Jews. To explore this further, we need to consider that dangerous word, patriarchy.

I suggest we rethink the Exodus story. The common understanding of the story is that one bad man named Pharoah and his people used their power to oppress members of a powerless group of foreigners, the Hebrews. Then, like in an action movie, God was stronger than the Pharoah, so God beat up the Egyptians with 10 plagues and the Hebrews were freed by the relatively weaker Egyptians.

There is another way of reading the story, that follows the interpretation of the late Rabbi JB Soloveitchik[iii]. In considering his approach, let us not worry about the archaeological evidence about ancient Egypt, and just follow the argument in the text to understand what it might mean to us today[iv].  

Egypt was the superpower of their time and very much a patriarchal society where “might did make right”. As is often the case, the ways in which societies are organised are also reflected in the dynamics in families. The father was the head bully in the family, and the first-born male was not far behind. The first-born males cruelly dominated their siblings and were seen as being of higher status in the community, which enabled them to bully some more.

This concept of the first-born son is linked to the idea that he is the father’s “might and first manifestation of [his] vigour”[v]. In other words, the first
born son symbolised the father’s manhood and was expected to assert his manliness over others.

In the twisted society of the Pharaoh, these ruthless men brutally mistreated the Hebrew slaves. It is for this reason that they are central to the process of breaking down the oppressive system of slavery and are killed by God during the plague of the death of the first born.

The intimidation of the Pharaoh is not replaced by a scarier tyrant (despite the violent plagues). When God appointed a messenger to free the Hebrews from this society, He did not recruit a warrior. Instead, He sent Moses, a shepherd with a speech impediment.  

The Hebrews were invited to reimagine the idea of the first-born son when they were commanded to temporarily set aside such a child as “holy to God”[vi], until a ceremony when they are a month old called Pidyon Haben – “redeeming the son”. When the Torah introduced this commandment, it did not reference the father’s forcefulness; instead, the Torah highlights that the first born is the one who “opened their mother’s womb”. The word for “womb” in Hebrew is rechem, which is closely linked to the word for “mercy”, rachem, and to one of the Jewish names of God, HaRachaman, “the Merciful One”. The first-born child is met with boundless love by their mother, whose baby is her greatest joy.

May we all orient our lives around love and mercy and see these qualities prevail over violence and threats.

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[i] T.H. White, The Once and Future King

[ii] Exodus 4:22-23, 11:4-5

[iii] David, A, (2020) Drosh Darash Yosef, Mosad Harav Kook, Jerusalem, p 108.

[iv] See Blidstein, G. J. who makes a similar point in Rabbi Soloveitchik’s Abraham, https://traditiononline.org/rabbi-soloveitchiks-abraham/

[v] Genesis, 49:3, Deuteronomy 21:17

[vi] Exodus 13:2, 12-16