A Father’s Bat Mitzvah Speech - Bubbies, Broken and Butterflies

Fear, will and love. Three powerful feelings that reflect your three namesakes, Shifra the midwife in Egypt and your grandmothers, Golda Kastel and Brocha Stark. Feelings that I hope will drive you, dear Shifra, to grow from the child you have been into a woman who accomplishes great things.

This change can be compared to the transformation of the caterpillar. It begins by forming a chrysalis. Inside the chrysalis, the caterpillar's body breaks down and reorganises into the butterfly form.

Sometimes, people feel a little broken, disappointed, anxious, and unsettled. Things are often very different from how they should be, around us or in us.

In the Torah portion this week, we read about a sacrifice ceremony for dealing with some sins (1). The word used for sin can alternatively be translated as a lacking (2). 

Part of the ceremony involved cooking the meat of the animal that was sacrificed. If a clay pot was used for the cooking, the pot must be broken (3) in a holy place (4). This holy breaking is understood to be symbolic.  The founder of Hasidism, the Baal Shem Tov, taught that the broken pot represents a broken heart (5) that leads us to grow and improve, just like the breakdown of a caterpillar’s body allows it to become a butterfly.

Change is scary. Your namesake, the Biblical Shifra, was one of the midwives in Egypt. Pharaoh demanded that she kill all the baby boys, but she refused (6). Her refusal was based on positive fear of disappointing God, which made her fearless in disobeying a tyrant.  Fear is like having butterflies in your stomach. It is unpleasant, but the right kind of fear can motivate you to still do what is right, even when it is difficult.

Don’t ever try to eliminate your ability to feel fear but choose your fear. Make sure you are in awe of God alone and wary of not doing what is right. Never be afraid of people who behave, even temporarily, like a Pharaoh. They are not important enough.

Pharaoh was not the only one to threaten the Jewish people and frighten us.

Another of your three names, Brocha, is after your grandmother, Brocha Stark. She was a Holocaust survivor who came to Australia after unimaginable horrors and created a home for her family. Together with her husband, she helped create a new community that included the Yeshiva College, which later became your school, Kesser Torah College.

After everything she went through, Nanna Brocha found the willpower to create beautiful Yiddishkeit and family in Australia. And you, Shifra Golda Brocha, are part of the beautiful butterfly that she created.

The willpower of your namesake, Brocha can inspire you. “If someone’s desire is strong, it can crumble mountains and break stones” (7). Your mountains are waiting for you. You will smash them!

Nanna Brocha was also a giant of love. Her grandchildren would often spend time in her home. On Purim she sent us the most delicious Mishloach Manos (Purim food gifts), with the best treats that could possibly be created out of nuts, flour and sugar.

Love was also a super-power of your third namesake, your grandmother, Golda Kastel.

She was incredibly devoted to her family, supporting her husband in sustaining a Jewish school in Boston for many years. I was an anxious teenager who sometimes lacked confidence. I sometimes felt like an ordinary caterpillar. But Bobby Golda showered me with love and made me feel special.

At her 70^th birthday party in Baltimore, I spoke. I said that Bobbi’s love had magically transformed me from a caterpillar into a butterfly.

Shifra, you have been given gifts of fear, will and love. We all love you so much. You mean the world to us. Mazal Tov, dear Shifra. Be strong and be a great woman (8). Fly high and with grace, our new beautiful butterfly.

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This a revised version of my speech to my daughter on celebrating her Bat Mitzvah

(1)    Leviticus 6:18-23

(2)    The Lubavitcher Rebbe, "חטא", מלשון חיסרון https://www.chabad.org.il/ParashotArticles/Item.asp?ArticleID=921&CategoryID=78

(3)    Leviticus 6:21

(4)    Chizkuni commentary to 6:21

(5)    The Baal Shem Tov, כש"ט ח"ב דכ"ב ע"א; בעל שם טוב, לראש השנה ויום כפור כ״ז:א׳

(6)    Exodus 1:15-17

(7)    Rabbi Shmuel of Sochotchovאין לך דבר העומד בפני הרצון,, רבי שמואל בורנשטיין זצ"ל מסוכטשוב (נפטר בשנת תרפ"ו) בספר שם משמואל (פרשת תרומה שנת תער"ב בסופו

(8)    Kings I, 2:2, paraphrasing.