Saturday, December 27, 2025

Bondi. Approaches


It is less than two weeks after the horrific events at Bondi. I cannot fully grasp, much less describe, the impact on the families of those murdered; on the orphans, the widows, the bereaved parents and siblings, the injured, those who experienced the terror at the event and on all Australian Jews. To all of you, I have no words of comfort. Instead, all I can offer is my empathy, my care, and for many just a hug.

Last Wednesday, I attended two funerals: those of inspiring young Rabbi Eli Schlanger – my sister-in-law’s brother, and Rabbi Yaakov Levitan, the husband of a young woman I have known since she was 10 years old. She taught in the Sunday school I led when she was a teenager and taught my children more recently as an adult.

We are all shaken by the sheer horror of the fact that they were murdered along with 13 others, including 10-year-old Matilda. I witnessed the grief of bereaved children. The atrocity screams to the heavens. I have been alternating between hyper-focused work and being dazed, leaving my car keys …

In addition to my personal connections with victims and their families, there is the fact that for almost 25 years I have worked to improve Jewish-Muslim relations. In more recent years, perhaps for a decade, I began to worry that something like Bondi would happen and I hoped that my work might prevent it. Alas, it has not.

According to the Torah, in some cases of murder, the elders of that place must wash their hands and proclaim, “Our hands have not spilled this blood” (1). The intent of this declaration is that it follows introspection about what the elders might have done to prevent the conditions that made murder possible. Did they ensure that visitors were escorted safely when they left, went on their way? (2).  

In the days after the massacre, I asked myself – briefly - if I could say that my hands were clean, “..that I had not spilled this blood.” My answer is “Yes. I did what I could based on what I knew and the opportunities I had.” Unfortunately, in hindsight, it is clear that we had not ensured conditions to prevent these multiple murders and so much harm to many others.  

Where to from here? There will be various approaches that leaders and individuals will need to choose from. Indeed, the Torah reading this week is named, “He approached.” (3)

One interpretation of the word “approached” is to approach for “war” (4). When innocents are harmed, it is both natural and appropriate for people to feel anger. A former student asked me what should we do with the anger? My reply is to channel it. Anger is a gift, if it is harnessed to right wrongs. It is a curse if it is diffuse and causes harm to innocents instead of protecting innocents. This is true even if it is well-intentioned. Anger that is misdirected leads to poor outcomes. 

The approaches of peace and conciliation are also mentioned by the commentaries (5). An example of this is the celebration of the hero, Ahmed El Ahmed, a Muslim man from Syria, who risked his life to save other lives. My brother Mendel and I visited him. Mendel gave him a personally and spiritually significant gift. I said only two words to him. “Yes” in response to his humble question about the expressions of gratitude, “Do I deserve this?” “Yes”, I said emphatically. I added the word “Shukran”, the Arabic word for “thank you”.

There is the approach of comforting the mourner (6). Several Imams came to offer their condolences to the senior judge of the Sydney Beth Din (Jewish religious court), Rabbi Yehoram Ulman, whose son-in-law was killed. On the Imams Council’s Facebook page, they have the message that “the grief, distress, and deep sense of insecurity felt within the Australian Jewish community are fully acknowledged, and our solidarity and compassion are unequivocally affirmed.” (7)

In an interview on Channel 10, I shared how Australians of all walks of life have rallied, as we have before in times of tragedy. The outpouring of sympathy from people of all faiths and none has been non-stop. A Catholic bishop, many Muslim friends and leaders, and a former Together For Humanity colleague - and a Muslim - who worked with us two decades ago. To all who expressed support, from across Australia and as far away as Iraq, thank you, shukran. 

A final interpretation of the one Biblical word “approached” is to examine (8). For many people, this is a time of confusion and examination. We are asking how we find our way to a sense of safety and cohesion. How do we properly understand our neighbours from other faith backgrounds? Their intentions toward us? How do we navigate the advice of the Proverbs that one heart responds to the sentiments of the heart of another (9). How do we navigate the advice of the sages to “respect him and suspect him” (10). It is not going to be easy, but that is part of the journey of trust.  

For me, alongside the grief, I draw inspiration from acts of courage, from Ahmed and from Chaya, one of the injured girls who risked her life walking into the line of fire and getting shot so she could shield two younger children, and the beautiful spirits of the departed. We will not be defeated, we respond to all forms of hatred, including but not limited to, antisemitism, terrorism and dehumanisation, with a fierce determination to defeat hate. Let us instead approach each other with curiosity, to really know one another.  

 

Sources

1)    Deuteronomy 21:7

2)    Talmud Sotah 45b

3)    “Vayigash”, Genesis 44:18 and on to 47:27

4)    Bereshit Rabba 93

5)    Bereshit Rabba ibid

6)    Bereshit Rabba ibid

7)    https://www.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1316378170530805&id=100064759026797&mibextid=wwXIfr&rdid=NgqMZJdvqb2SNXIr#

8)    Midrash Hagadol, and Chemdat Yamim, cited in Torah Shlaima, p. 1631, note 49

9)    Proverbs 27:19

10)  Popular saying based on Derech Eretz Rabba 5