Righting Wrongs - Reflection on Hannah and COVID Rosh Hashanah

 

In these difficult times, it can become difficult to hope that what is wrong in the world, and in ourselves, can be made right. Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, is a time to engage with this challenge. In this blog post, I offer a glimpse into how I grappled with this on this day.   

The Biblical Hannah was always known to me as the silent woman. Hannah stands in the Jewish imagination as the taunted, childless, embittered woman who prayed with “her lips moving, but her voice not heard (1)” as she pleaded to give birth to a child. She is credited with the invention of Jewish silent prayer (2). But I heard her loud and clear this year, as if for the first time, due to my lockdown Rosh Hashanah experience. 

Unlike the past 45 years when I spent Rosh Hashanah in the Synagogue, this year I experienced it around my kitchen table with my family. Part of this experience was reading out loud in Hebrew the passage about Hannah in the Prophets (Haftorah) and translating it into English for my family. It was then that the power of her words hit me.

After Hannah’s prayer had been answered, she came to the temple and gave voice to her experience:

“It was this boy I prayed for; the Lord granted me what I asked of Him... My horn [pride] is high through the LORD, My mouth is wide over my enemies...

...Do not talk, [in a] high, high [manner], let no arrogance cross your lips! The bows of the mighty are broken, [while] the faltering are girded with strength.

Men who were once sated, must hire out for bread; [but] Men who were once hungry, hunger no more. While the barren woman bears seven, the mother of many is forlorn.

...The Lord casts down, He also lifts high. He raises the poor from the dust. Lifts up the needy from the dunghill, setting them with nobles, granting them seats of honor…”. (3). 

Hannah’s affirmation of hope touched me. I was moved by the image of “her horn” being elevated. The “barren,” belittled woman saw herself enlarged in her new success as a mother. It reminded me that the “little people” can become “big,” and enjoy dignity and pride.

Over the last few days, I read Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe (4) that describes the humiliation of Igbo tribesmen of Nigeria by their land’s Colonisers. This disturbing story acknowledges some complexities, for example  benefits for the Igbo such as reducing the killing of twins (5). On the other hand, the harsh subjugation of the clans and their leaders echoes much of the continuing pain in the world. Hannah’s proclamation that, with God’s help, wrongs can be righted, offers a counterpoint to despair and encouragement to hope.

This encouragement is alluded to in Hannah’s widened “mouth.” There are times when people feel shut down by the disinterest of others in their views. The Rosh Hashanah liturgy includes a prayer for “an opening of the mouth” for those who continue to hope for divine assistance. We pray that as we seek to right wrongs, we do not succumb to the resistance by those who don’t share our vision or by obstacles that stand in our way; rather, we continue to speak our truth. 

Hannah articulated a vision of the fortunes of the humble and battlers changing for the better, which continues to inspire Jews in our daily and festival prayers (6). Hannah’s words touched and inspired me on this holy day, as I hope they inspire you to continue to hope and work for better outcomes for individuals, communities and perhaps one day, even nations and humanity.  

   

Notes: 

1. Samuel I, 1:13 

2. Talmud 31a

3. Samuel I, 1:27-2: 

4. Achebe, C. (1958), Things Fall Apart

5. https://www.jstor.org/stable/3773886 , https://www.theguardian.com/working-in-development/2018/jan/19/twin-baby-dies-secret-killings-nigeria-remote-communities 

6. Psalms 113:7-8, 146, 7-9

Judgement Acceptance and Celebration Rosh Hashanah

Accommodating! The word appeared in large font, an accusation, that screamed at me from my Lumina Spark personality report. The report that was generated in response to a detailed survey about my workplace behaviours featured a word cloud with the most significant of my characteristics shown in the biggest writing. There it was, in huge type - ACCOMODATING.

One of my hang-ups, and I don’t think I am unique in this, is questioning my own strength. Am I strong or weak? Does my reluctance to confront conflict prove that I am a wimp? Are my doubts and agonising about decision-making further proof of weakness? These kinds of ruminations are not useful, but if we have them, we are better off dealing with them than avoiding thinking about them.

As I reflect on such questions, it occurs to me that the Jewish New Year’s Day, Rosh Hashanah is fast approaching on 7-8 September. The words “behold, the day of judgement” echo in my mind. At my synagogue on Rosh Hashanah, we would have  a choir, and two of its members with very strong deep singing voices – one a lawyer the other a judge – would sing these words in Hebrew in a slow solemn melody: Heenaaaay Yom Hadeeen, Heee-naay, Yo-o-m, Ha-----deeeen! Behold, the day of judgement!

The backstory of the Jewish day of judgement is that the first humans, Adam and Eve, were created on this date, and on that same day they ate forbidden fruit and were judged for it (1). History is repeated every year on the same day.

As He did to Adam in the Garden of Eden, God calls out to us, “where are you?” (2) “Where are you in the world? What have you accomplished? You have been allotted a certain number of days, hours, and minutes in which to fulfil your mission in life. You have lived so many years and so many days,”- over 50 years in my case - “Where are you? What have you achieved?” (3). And the super-ego can’t help itself but to appropriate the role of the divine judge to do a bit of judging of its own. Are you good enough? Big enough? Strong enough?

For a long time, I regularly showed up to the court of the false God in my head. I pleaded my case and presented my defence. I protested too much, then noticed that these thoughts were never enough to end the judgement. Self-criticism and self-doubt continue to be part of my life. But one day I decided that I had enough. I declared to the inner critic that I no longer recognised the legitimacy of his court. This is a pointless exercise! I thought, I just need to ignore it.

It worked to some extent but the other day I decided to change tack and take ownership of who I am and accept the gifts and challenges that God has given me.

I am accommodating! That is my nature. I am not a tough New Yorker. I am not Donald Trump. Good. I acknowledge that sometimes I will be accommodating in situations in which it would be more useful to me and the people I care about, or the cause I serve if I were to be assertive. But I also celebrate that I can tune in to other peoples’ perspectives and see the world through their eyes, and do what they want when it does not compromise my principles at all.

I remind myself that strength is defined by our sages as the conquest of one’s own self (4). To act with self-control. I am not perfect at this, but I often score some victories here. I would love to do even better.

With regards to one’s failure to exercise self-control, it is also useful to practice some degree of acceptance. We can work to address problems we own and acknowledge, but not those we deny. The first human to be judged, Adam, admitted to God that he ate the forbidden fruit (5).  But as he did, he used the present tense, admitting that after he was offered the forbidden fruit, “I am eating it.” That is, I ate some, and I will continue to eat it (6). While some would regard this as brazen, another perspective is that Adam was owning up to the truth about himself. He knew his own reality that included a weakness for these forbidden fruits and was completely honest about this (7). This honesty is surely the first step to growth.

As we look back at a year that included challenges relating to COVID and lockdowns, let us be honest about what we noticed about ourselves and accept the truths we learned. Then let us forgive ourselves as surely as we believe that a Merciful God certainly forgives us (8). In fact, as Jews we approach the day of judgement as a celebration, wearing our best clothing; we eat and drink as we are confident in God’s mercy (9). We also engage in some serious self-reflection and prayer. Not a bad mix of responses to honestly engaging with the truth of our flawed and lovable selves.  

For all who are observing Rosh Hashana, I wish you a happy and sweet new year. May it be sweet prosperous, free and healthy for all of humanity.

Sources

1. Rabbi Nissim in Pesikta
2. Genesis 3:9
3. R. Schneur Zalman of Liadi,  https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1107/jewish/Where-Are-You.htm
4. Pirkey Avot 4:1
5. Genesis 3:12
6. Genesis Rabba 19:22
7. Rabbi Mendel of Kotzk, in Oratz, E. (1990) Nothing but the Truth p. 43-44 Judaica Press.
8. Tanya, end of chapter 26
9. Jerusalem Talmud, Rosh Hashana 1:3