Settled Soul Practices Clarity Coherence and Calm.

It is the first week of February. Sadly, this is where New Year resolutions go to die. However, I am feeling confident that for me, this year it will be different.

In early January, I was sitting on a plane somewhere over the Pacific when I encountered, what I hope will be, life changing wisdom about “settled souls”. I used to think that a settled soul was an outcome. Instead, I learned that being a settled soul was an ethical practice. One of my commitments for 2025 is to live by “settled-soul” practices of clarity, coherence, calm and presence.

To better understand how this works, let us consider the opposite of the settled soul, “the scattered soul”[i]. An example of this state can be found in the ways of Jacob’s son Reuben. Jacob spoke harshly on his deathbed to Reuben, criticising him for being hasty, rash or impetuous, like water[ii].

The problem with haste is discussed in the teaching of the Musar (ethical development) movement[iii]. One of the leaders of this movement taught the importance of the calm mind that is not hassled. This consists of having clear direction in life, living in coherence with one’s principles and not pursuing vices and lusts that cause a person to leap from one temptation to another. A lack of moral clarity can be masked by mannerisms that appear calm on the outside, but it is the internal clarity and coherence that matters. 

Once a person has this clarity, it is then important to focus and be present to whatever she or he is doing. In contrast to the multitasker, whose attention is constantly shifting between one thing and another, the settled soul is highly intentional with their attention. When Abraham became aware of visitors in his peripheral vision, he considered whether to look up, which, when he did, is described as “Abraham lifted his eyes”[iv].  For me, this means putting my phone out of reach when studying Torah and ignoring the dinging announcements of new WhatsApp messages.

The saddest example of Reuben being unsettled was his failure to save his younger brother, Joseph, from the rest of their brothers when they were plotting to kill him. First he advocated against harming the boy, then he disappeared. During Reuben’s absence, Joseph was sold into slavery. Reuben returned too late, and was beside himself with grief. “And I, where, can I ever come [home]”.[v]

One of the key practices of the settled soul is to do one thing at a time. Yet, Reuben could not stay focused on saving Joseph. He was off doing other things but failed to come through for someone who needed him.[vi]

For the last four weeks, I have been focused on the aim of living the settled-soul way. I am doing more of what I am committed to and feeling healthier and often more energetic. Now, I am thinking about retaining this approach.

When the Hebrew slaves were liberated from Egypt, there was the very real possibility that they would go right back.[vii] For me, the Exodus from Egypt represents my personal redemption from the tyranny of more limited ways of being[viii] but, like my ancestors, I am concerned about regression.

Nutritionist, Yehudis Kluwgant stated that ‘to lose weight and change to a healthy lifestyle, a person needs to change their identity, beliefs and values.’[ix] When the Hebrews left Egypt, they were first referred to simply as ‘the people’.[x] When they agreed to trust God completely and go into the desert where nothing grows[xi], their name and identity changed.[xii] They were then called the sons of Israel[xiii], symbolic of mastery of spiritual struggles.[xiv] I feel like something has shifted in me over these last few weeks, and in a sense, I am a new person. If this is correct, I think it is likely that my New Year’s resolution will endure long past early February.

   

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[i] Rabbi Y. Y. Schneerson, Naaseh Nuh Aliyas Kir Ktana, in Sefer Hamaamarim Kuntreisim, vol. 1, p. 332,

[ii] Genesis 49:4

[iii] ר' שמחה זיסל זיו[iii] Rabbi Simcha Zisl, known at der Alter fun Kelm, a leader of the Kelm Musar
אור רש"ז, מאמר קע"ט, עמוד רכה

[iv] Genesis 22:4

[v] Genesis 37:18-30

[vi] The Lubavitcher Rebbe in Likutei Sichos, vol. 15, p. 445.

[vii] Exodus 13:17

[viii] The Lubavitcher Rebbe

[ix] In a conversation on 3.02.2025

[x] Exodus 13:17 refers to the Hebrews as the people three times

[xi] Jeremiah 2:2

[xii] Klei Yakar on Exodus 13:17

[xiii] Exodus 13:18

[xiv] Genesis 32:29

Inner Peace and Judaism

 “Jews don’t do inner peace”.

“Jews don’t do inner peace”. This was my first thought when teacher Judith Hurley invited me to talk about inner peace in Judaism for a staff spirituality day. The Strife of the Spirit[i] is the title of a book that articulates some of the Chabad Hasidic ideas that have most influenced my understanding of spirituality. The battle of the body also referred to as the animalistic soul or “evil inclination” against the divine soul looms large in the Hasidic experience[ii]. The Torah appears more concerned with the struggle to obey the commandments than peace. However, as I learned more, I recognised that peace can be regarded an overarching goal that includes obeying the commandments and living out the covenant with God.

Peace is an essential condition of existence.

This past week, I was delighted and surprised to find teachings about inner peace in the writings of Rabbi Yitzchak Arama (1420 – 1494). Arama is regarded as one of the great rationalist commentators on the Torah. He frequently quotes Maimonides’ guide for the perplexed. Yet, he regards peace as essential to all of existence including Jewish life[iii]. He explains that every being in the universe, other than God, is a composite of different components that must coexist in peace. The moment that peace is lost to a body, is the moment it is destroyed. The word ‘disintegrate’ captures his thinking. To disintegrate means to decay but also signals that it is opposite to being integrated or at peace.

Peace with God is synonymous with living the covenant.

For Arama, peace with God is synonymous with living true to the covenant with God. To obey the commandments is to be at peace with God. The gift of peace brings healing of all our faults[iv]. The opposite is also true. Regarding the verse “there is no peace for the wicked[v]”, Arama comments that there is no punishment needed for the wicked, other than losing peace.  To lose peace is to lose hope and to close off the channel of God’s blessings.

The resolution of inner strife involves inner peace.

In Jewish and Chasidic writings about the battle between body and soul or between animal and divine souls, there are allusions to cooperation and peace between them. Every morning and evening, Jews read the ‘Shema[vi]’, which
calls us to love God with all our hearts. The word for hearts has an extra letter Bet[vii], which alludes to Jews loving God with our two inclinations, the evil and good, or with both the animal and divine aspects of ourselves. The animalistic evil inclination cooperates with the Godly - good inclination to love God - putting aside their competition to conquer and control the body[viii]. Instead they are at peace with each other in joint love of God. The animal soul’s passion in the hot-headed person is harnessed by their divine soul to perform great acts of compassion beyond their ability[ix]. The two parts of the person working in harmony. Our souls are redeemed in peace[x].

Peace through pausing on Shabbat.

The practice of Shabbat is one of the great Jewish vehicles for peace. In the ten commandments we read, “Six days you shall work and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath for your God you shall not do any work”[xi]. The Torah instructs us to do all our work in six days. This is interpreted[xii] as God commanding us to imagine that, in fact, all our work has been done by Friday afternoon and to rest from even thinking about work. All the piles of papers in the in-tray, all the unanswered emails are as if they don’t exist. Vanished by a swish of the Shabbat angel’s wand, if I may mix my metaphors.

This approach is based on faith. If God wanted all that work done this week, He would have found a way for us to get it done. The fact that he didn’t ensure that it got done, means that it was not destined to be this week’s work. It belongs to another time. On Friday at sunset, all the work that mattered is either done, or as good as done, because Shabbat is a sacred time in which that work is irrelevant.

This attitude has been an amazing gift for me and my family. I don’t check emails or social media or lift a pen or read a work report. It is truly a holy time. Unfortunately, thoughts are harder to control than actions, and I confess that my thoughts sometimes wander to work on shabbat. But it is still a powerful way of achieving inner peace, to a significant extent, at least once a week with a flow-on effect for the rest of the week.

Accepting others and self – the ugly man

One of the great obstacles to peace is an unwillingness to accept people, either others, or to accept ourselves as we are. I have had my moments with both. Enter the ugly man story.

Rabbi Eliezer was once riding on a donkey on the coast, he was feeling very happy because he had studied a lot of Torah.

Then he noticed a very ugly man, not just in the physical sense but it was clear to the Rabbi that the man had an ugly character.

The ugly man greeted him, "Shalom, Rabbi!"

Rabbi Eliezer did not return the greeting.

Instead, he said, "Empty (headed) one! Are all the inhabitants of your town as ugly as you?"

The man replied: "Why don't you tell the craftsman who made me, “how ugly is the vessel you made?"

Rabbi Eliezer realised that he had done wrong. He went down from his donkey, prostrated himself and begged the man for forgiveness[xiii]...

A believing person has no business condemning anyone for what they are. Yes, we can object to someone’s behaviour. But I have found that sometimes what annoys me more than behaviour is another person's essential nature. This is wrong, as they have not chosen to be the way they are. They were created that way.

The same principle applies to me. It is ok for me to be disappointed with my behaviour or choices. But I should never be ashamed or frustrated with myself for what I am. I did not create myself[xiv]!

Forgiveness

We can lose peace within ourselves and with God through our choices and walking away from God and our covenant with Him[xv]. When this happens, we can seek resolution with God. Once we seek forgiveness, we are encouraged to be confident that God will instantly forgive us. God’s capacity for forgiveness is infinite, not like humans, who might find it hard to forgive someone for their repeated mistakes[xvi]. I’ve found that sometimes by focusing on my belief that God has forgiven me, I can more easily forgive myself. At a Catholic school spirituality day, I recently invited teachers to consider trying this approach on grudges they held against themselves - perhaps for ten years or twenty years - and to consider whether God’s forgiveness might allow them to forgive themselves as well.

There is also great power in forgiving others, which Jews are encouraged to do every night before going to sleep[xvii]. Forgiving others not only releases the object of our resentment, it also allows us to feel at peace in ourselves.  

Conclusion

Being at peace and in sync with God, through living out the covenant and bringing the different aspects of ourselves into harmony with God, allows us to have hope and brings with it its own kind of inner peace.

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[i] Steinsaltz, A. (1997), The Strife of the Spirit, Jason Aronson, it is an adaptation of the Tanya the foundation book of Chabad Chasidism, by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, who is one of the most significant figures of Hasidism

[ii] Tanya, by Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi

[iii] Arama, R. Yitzchak, in Akedat Yitzchak, gate 87.

[iv] Arama, based on Isaiah 57:19

[v]  Isaiah 46

[vi] Deuteronomy 6:5-9

[vii] Sifey Chachamim on Rashi’s commentary to Deuteronomy 6:6

[viii] Tanya, chapter 9

[ix] Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneerson, Sefer Hamaamorim Hakuntresim, Vol 1, Naase Na Aliyas Kir Ktana

[x] Psalm 55:19, as interpreted by Rabbi MM Schneerson, see also http://www.chabad.org.il/Magazines/Article.asp?ArticleID=11930&CategoryID=2010

[xi] Exodus 20:9

[xii] Mechilta

[xiii] Talmud, Taanit 20a–b

[xiv] Tanya, 31

[xv] Arama, ibid

[xvi] Tanya, Igeres Hateshuva chapter 11

[xvii] Siddur, order of shema and prayers before going to sleep, section hareni mochel 

Spiritual Striving, a Rich Litvak, a Chechen Warrior: An Inclusive 47th Birthday Farbrengen

The “Rich Litvak and the Merchants” parable was discussed at a ‘farbrengen’ at my house this week celebrating my 47th birthday.  A farbrengen is traditionally a time for Chasidic men to sit together, sing, eat and talk about the challenges and emotions of living and service. My farbrengen also featured men, but it included two Christian clergy, and an assortment of Jews with a range of identities; gay and straight, Buddhist, Rabbis and non-religious. Unfortunately, none of my Muslim male friends that attended in the past joined us this year.

We talked about the vastness of some of the challenges we encounter, how to have such a strong centre as not to lose heart.

I reflected that there were others whose lives did not endure for 47 years including a young man who recently died, aged 23, whose brother I visited the previous night. Life is fragile. Aside from whatever we do or don’t achieve in our lives, I give thanks that I am alive! I am grateful for my heart that has been pumping blood and the rest of my body that has worked for 47 years. I give thanks for the huge amount of food that has been produced and provided to me over all that time. And still, despite all the blessings I have received, I am unsure how to manage the anxieties that I and others grapple with.

So I talked about the parable (1) of the rich Litvak (Lithuanian) and the Polish businessmen who lodged in the same inn. The Litvak put his backpack down on the ground and fell asleep instantly. The merchants fussed with pillows and bedding but found sleep elusive. The Litvak explained to them in the morning that he could fall asleep because his bag was his own while their bedding belonged to others. In addition, the merchants were focused on whatever pleasure they could have on the road. There was no pleasure waiting for them at home, only aggressive creditors that would tear at them to retrieve their money. But the Litvak’s pleasure focus was ‘at home’ so what happened on the road was just a means to an end and didn’t stress him out. The purpose driven person can be less impacted by troubles along the way. “He who has a ‘why’ to live for, can bear almost any how.” (2)

I burst into some Chasidic songs of longing and spiritual striving, some words, one in yiddish. Those who didn’t know the songs just experienced the vibe of the songs.

A few of the participants talked about striving to do good boldly but facing great obstacles. I repeated a story I heard at a conference in Indonesia from a Muslim man from Dagestan about a great Chechen warrior of the mountains named Shamil (3). Shamil had been leading the war for independence against the Russians but now found himself a prisoner in a wagon. As the wagon travelled for days, Shamil kept asking his captors ‘where are we?’ The answer every day was the same: Russia. When Shamil finally realised how vast Russia was he said that if he had known how big it was he would not have tried to fight it. Sometimes the darkness seems too formidable. Jock, one of the Christian Farbrengen participants suggested that the story might relate to the way God leads us to do great things without allowing us to see the vastness of the challenge beforehand so we don’t give up before we start.

As I start my 48th year I am determined to do what I can to bring people together despite the challenges to that task. The Farbrengen was a delightful experience of people from different walks of life, exploring the common experience of seeking to be great human beings at the same time as being only human.

1. R. Yaakov Yosef of Polnoy, in Toldot Yaakov Yosef Vayechi.
2. Friedrich Nietzsche, in Frankl, V. Man's Search for Meaning
3. https://www.britannica.com/biography/Shamil