Escape the Inner Noise

I am reading, in a book by Christine Jackman, about the problem of the stream of troubling thoughts or chatter in our minds [i] and the virtue of achieving quiet and stillness.  Such thoughts are sometimes self-recriminating: “Why was I such a fool?” They can be stewing about other people’s faults: “She is so horrible.” Or fearful thoughts. All these thoughts can flood us with negativity, outrage, envy, anxiety, and stress. What is to be done?

Shame

Jackman is searingly honest about the self-critical thoughts that would sometimes torment her. She is not alone in being afflicted by the stream of thoughts in her mind. “Studies have revealed that most people find it hard to tolerate being alone with their thoughts, even for relatively short periods of time.” “Simply being alone with their thoughts for 15 minutes was apparently so aversive that it drove many participants to self-administer an electric shock…[ii]” just to avoid the discomfort of facing themselves. I understand this as some of us feeling ashamed of our own inadequacies and afraid of being confronted with these.

It doesn’t make sense because most of us are not really so shame-worthy. Yet, such thoughts persist.

Fear and Worry

Sometimes we ruminate not on our self-worth but on what we should do, especially relating to earning a livelihood. “The many thoughts in the heart of man, that hassle the person by raising many doubts about every matter…being pulled this way and that way…[iii]”. More ominous, are undefined fears that are not related to a clear danger. This is explained by the sages as a fear that “although he does not see it, his guardian angel [iv]  his soul [v] or perhaps his subconscious - sees the danger [vi]”. This could be very unsettling.  

Don’t run

Rumi wrote, “Your old life was a frantic running from silence [vii]”. Jackman quotes Rumi as a way of reflecting on the fact that her ruminating thoughts were a way to avoid confronting her deeper self, hidden beneath the noisy, repetitive, and meaningless thoughts. Instead, she encourages us to stop the flow of ruminating thoughts and be still – primarily through meditation or walking mindfully in a forest [viii]. This is not a quick fix, but this capacity can be built over time. Like Jackman, Carl Jung called us to look at the “shadow” part of ourselves, those parts of ourselves that might otherwise remain hidden, but still influence our thoughts and life.

At the right time

I agree with Jung and Jackman that it is better to confront ourselves, than to escape, at least sometimes. On the other hand, I think escape can sometimes be a good thing as well. Chasidic writings suggest that, if ruminating thoughts about sins we’ve committed, or not being good enough, pop into our head, “this is what one should take to his heart, this is not a good time… [to effectively deal with such concerns and for introspection], this requires specially scheduled sessions, at an appropriate moment, with a settled mind [ix]”. I have tried this technique and it worked for me. After telling myself that now is not a good time for ruminating on my faults and past shortcomings, I was able to park that thought for another time and refocus on what was in front of me at that time.

Silence in Conflict

One of the great men of the Talmud stated, “I grew up among the wise and I have not found anything better for the body than silence [x].”  One virtue of silence is when one, for example, hears him/herself being denigrated, and is silent [xi]. A lot of the “noise” in our heads consists of rehearsed or rehashed conversations we might have with other people in response to their hurtful words. It would be much better for us if we could stop those thoughts and shift to equanimity. A beautiful phrase in a Jewish prayer expresses this aspiration: “To those who curse me, may my soul be silent [xii]”. Alternatively, another prayer states, “I forgive anyone who sinned against me… [including] sins against my honour [xiii].”

Jackman cautions against expecting a complete and quick transformation. Instead, she urges the reader to keep at it. The Torah would certainly agree.

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[i] Jackman, C (2020), Turning Down The Noise: The quiet power of silence in a busy world, Murdoch Books, Sydney, London

[ii] Wilson, T.D. et al, In Jackman, C (2020), p. 146

[iii] The Rebbe, Rabbi Shmuel, known as the Maharash, in Toras Shmuel, Maamar Mayim Rabbim, p, 1

[iv] Rashi commentary on Talmud, Megila 3a

[v] Steinzaltz commentary on Talmud, Megila 3a

[vi] Talmud, Megila 3a, cited in Rabbi Chayim Yosef David Azulai, Toras Hachida , Devarim, p 11

[vii] Jackman, C, (2020), p. 73

[viii] Michelle Brenner has introduced me to the concept of forest bathing and walking meditation – which can be achieved, at least partially, by walking in nature and being very mindful of one’s surroundings. Jackman also writes about walking in nature.

[ix] Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi in Tanya chapter 26, as adapted by Miller, C. (2016), the Practical Tanya, part 1, p. 305

[x] Pirkey Avot 1:17

[xi] Ovadia Bartenura on Pirkey Avot 1:17

[xii] The end of the Amida, Elohai Netzor

[xiii] The prayer before going to sleep

Silenced Man of God – Joshua, the “severed head” - Shlach

It is appalling to see the silencing of “men or women of God” or other voices of conscience when they are advocating for justice or compassion.  I am not denying that there are scoundrels, who cloak themselves in righteousness or clerical robes and promote cruelty or foolishness. However, this blog  focuses on the thwarting of people like artists, journalists, cartoonists and clergy, in their roles as social critics. The people who are supposed to be the brakes on the darker impulses of the powerful and the many, are prevented from playing their vital role in speaking for virtue, the weak and the few. This is like players in a sport turning on the referee.

This calls for some clarification: I  would like to emphasise that I am not concerned about people offering alternative views. What concerns me is when they attack the legitimacy of credible people with whom they disagree.

According to one scholar, this is the meaning of a peculiar expression in the Talmud relating to Joshua, the prophet. Joshua was one of twelve spies, who returned to the desert from Canaan (1). He dissented from the views of ten of his fellow spies, who were opposed to God’s plan for the Israelites to go to the Promised Land.  The majority were not content to argue their case on its merits. Instead, according to the Talmud (2), when Joshua tried to speak, they shut him up with the following statement:  “Will this severed head speak?!”

According to one commentary (3), the strange phrase was an attack on Joshua’s status and legitimacy or standing in the discussion.  Moses had added the letter Yud (Y), which is the first letter of God’s name, to Joshua’s name, changing it from Hoshea, to Yehoshua (4). This name change symbolised his special status as being one of two spies, deemed aligned to God (5). The other spies sought to dismiss Joshua’s special status with the suggestion that the “head of his name”, the additional Yud from the name of God, was disconnected or severed from the rest of his name and not legitimately part of his name at all. The technicalities in this case are quaint but the tactic is all too common today.

One response to the tactic is often for social critics to get creative in order to get people’s attention, using click bait or humour. Another strategy that is quite risky, is for the social critic to give the impression that s/he agrees with the mob, but then, when s/he gets their attention, to say what s/he really thinks. Caleb, Joshua’s fellow dissenting spy, tried that approach with limited impact (6).

Often this leads to frustration on the part of the social critic. “Joshua the son of Nun and Caleb…tore their clothes” to express their grief (7). They continued to speak their truth while no one was listening. The catastrophe they sought to prevent, came to pass, with the Israelites’ anticipated entry into the Promised Land delayed by a generation.  Failure, at least some of the time, comes with the territory.

Fortunately, in some cases, there are at least partial victories that protect some people or preserve some principle. Those of us who find ourselves in roles advocating for compassion and justice, need to be prepared for our opponents to try to sever our “heads”, to deny our legitimacy. We need to ensure that our egos do not cloud our judgement -  it is not about us - and that our emotions are managed well. Then, we need to get in there and do what we can.

For all of us, the message is that good “followership” is just as important as good leadership. If we are ever tempted to discredit people we know to be good, albeit imperfect, people, let us instead listen to their arguments on their merit, instead of trying to silence them, if they are saying what we don’t want to hear.

Notes

(1)    Numbers 13

(2)    Talmud Sota 35a

(3)    Maharsha, (Rabbi Shmuel Eliezer Edeles, lived 1555-1631) on Sota 34b and 35a, building on what he deemed a forced explanation by the Aruch.

(4)    Numbers 13:16

(5)    Maharsha explains that, while God would have preferred just two spies to gather practical information, the people had insisted on a broader mission for the spies to determine if they should proceed with the conquest of Canaan at all. This expanded purpose required representatives from each of the twelve tribes.

(6)    Talmud Sota 35a 

(7)     Numbers 14:6

Speech for son’s High School Graduation - Be Great Men as Jews embracing all people

Like the Israelites in the desert, days before crossing to the Promised Land, dear graduates, tonight you are at the threshold of the next stage of your lives. Like the Israelites who were instructed to bring their first fruit to God and give thanks, you too are called to gratitude.

In that spirit, sitting here on this blessed land, I begin by gratefully acknowledging the Bidjigal and Gadigal people, who have cared for this land we meet on tonight.

Remember to be grateful for hard work of your parents and the dedication of your teachers. Be grateful for the ladies in the office, such as Sara who does the sometimes thankless task of fee collection that is vital for our school to work, for the college president who dedicates heart and soul to keep our school going and the cleaners who give us an environment conducive for learning.

I love this school. It is so different to mine. I went to a school in Brooklyn in the 1970s and 80’s. Everything was simpler there. We played dodge-ball on concrete, and practically all the teachers were Jewish men from Russia, mostly they were named Horowitch, I kid you not, 3 out of my first 4 teachers were named Horowitch. Even the handyman was a Jewish guy from Russia named Shagabayeh.

Your school is more complex and diverse: An outstanding Jewish studies program combined with excellence in general studies with students and teachers from more varied backgrounds than my school was. Your teachers are both caring and demanding. You have been well prepared for getting a good number on your ATAR as well as cultivating more intangible qualities.

You are going to be living your lives at a time of dizzying speed, tasks to do and the dominance of numbers. It has been claimed that we now produce as much content in one day as humans had previously created in over 5000 years, five exabytes of content, is the actual figure (1).

I urge you to ignore the gigabytes of half baked ideas and shallow comments- often instantaneous reactions to a post on Facebook or a What’sapp message. In fact, part of that statistic I mentioned is, itself an example of rushed thinking, and ultimately false information that is out there (2). Instead I urge you to slow down and embrace nuances, and paradoxes. Try to appreciate the baffling idea of the ‘sound’ of silence’ that Elijah the prophet encountered in the cave, the קול דממה דקה. As Michel Abesehrah said in dedicating his book to his father, “he taught me with silence all that I have tried to accomplish here with noise” (3). Just sit with that contradiction for a moment and process it. Communication and wisdom that goes beyond words, conveyed through silence.

Silence and reflection relates to the importance of going beyond just doing what is right, to embarking on a quest for being the best Jew you can be, the best human being you can be.

Picture this. Reb Elichyaim Roitblat, a very short, skinny old Chasid with an absolutely angelic face, shining eyes, and a long white beard who sat at a long table at a Farbrengen with 60 Yeshiva students during the month of Elul. From the depth of his soul, he cried out in a sing song voice that we must daven (yiddish for pray)! By which he meant that we must pray in a transformational way in which we are moved to excitement about the greatness of G-d and a longing to be closer to Him. As Reb Elichayim was saying this he looked up and noticed the clock. It was midnight and the doctor told him, that he must go to sleep at midnight for his health. Without changing the tune or stopping his sentence he said in yiddish “M’darf gain shluffen, one must go to sleep”. To him it was all about his duties as a Jew. To transform himself, and to obey the doctor were his duties. There was no difference. But then he caught himself and he laughed.

Dear graduates, The Torah demands that you become that guy. Yeah. You are supposed to become a variation of Reb Elichyaim Roitblat! The Torah states:  קדושים תהיו “you should BE holy”. Strive to be a selfless person, a thoughtful, generous, gentle person who truly cares for another. The guy who gets as animated about learning as a sports fan when watching a game.

And as you strive to be the best you can be, the best Jew, here is another paradox. Our Torah reading talks about being God’s treasured people. However, you need to combine awareness of the awesome gift of being a Jew while also relating to people who are not Jewish with absolute respect and care.  Remember the relationships you noticed between your teachers, Rabbi Chaiton for example and your teachers who are not Jewish, remember how he modeled complete respect and friendliness.

One of our great scholars (4), wrote that God said: although all of the human species is dear to me…as our sages stated, beloved is the human for he was created in the image [of God], still you [the Jews] will be for me a treasure from all of them., and the difference between you is [quantitative, in degree] less or more, ...and the pious of the nations of the world are dear to Me without a doubt.

We need to embrace being special as Jews and living up to what this entails while absolutely respecting and valuing our neighbors who are not Jewish. We need to strive for greatness while being humble before everyman (5). We need to get things done, and some these tasks are measured in numbers, but there is so much you are called to than that which can be counted. This is a bit complicated, but you have been well prepared. Go forth into your promised land, with gratitude, and stay humble while becoming great men!

Notes

1. Susan Gunelius, https://aci.info/2014/07/12/the-data-explosion-in-2014-minute-by-minute-infographic/,
2. The assertion by Gunelius, based on a comment by Google, Eric Schmidt, is refuted in this article by Robert J. Moore https://blog.rjmetrics.com/2011/02/07/eric-schmidts-5-exabytes-quote-is-a-load-of-crap/
3. Abheseara, M, 1992, The Possible Man, Swan House,
4. Seforno Exodus 19:5
   והייתם לי סגלה מכל העמים. אף על פי שכל המין האנושי יקר אצלי מכל יתר הנמצאים השפלים, כי הוא לבדו המכוון בהם, כאמרם ז''ל (אבות) חביב אדם שנברא בצלם מכל מקום אתם תהיו לי סגולה מכלם: כי לי כל הארץ. וההבדל ביניכם בפחות ויתר הוא, כי אמנם לי כל הארץ וחסידי אומות העולם יקרים אצלי בלי ספק
   "And you will be for me a treasure among all the nations": although all of the human species is dear to me more than all lowly existing beings, because he [humans] alone is the intended [purpose] of all, as our sages (May their memory be a for blessing) stated, beloved is the human for he was created in the image [of God], still you [the Jews] will be for me a treasure from all of them. "Because all of the earth is Mine", and the difference between you is [quantitative, in degree] less or more, because indeed all the earth is Mine and the pious of the nations of the world are dear to Me without a doubt. SFORNO, OBADIAH BEN JACOB (c. 1470–c. 1550), was an Italian biblical commentator and physician. his commentary on the Pentateuch, Song of Songs, and Ecclesiastes, first appeared in Venice in 1567.
5. Pirkey Avot, Ethics of the Fathers.

Elephants Talk & Silence

This image is from http://david.sickmiller.com
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

Yesterday a Muslim educator taught me something very powerful about silence. Students from Australian Arabic Muslim families will be meeting with Jewish students in the coming weeks in the aftermath of the death, despair and destruction in Gaza and Israel. From an adults perspective, it is “the elephant in the room”, that needs to be discussed. Yet, the educator pointed out that by discussing it in the context of an interfaith school program we are giving an implicit message that Israel and Palestine should be seen as integral to interaction between Jews and Muslims in Australia. He thought the right message for his students in that particular context is that we are Australians of different faiths who are learning to respect and like each other.

On the other hand this week, I spoke with a number of educators responsible for supporting migrant children, some of whom are likely to lose their jobs due to government cuts. I began the discussion with the inspiring clip from Martin Luther King Jnr. He invokes Moses standing on the mountain top seeing the promised land of Canaan that he will never reach but to which his people will soon arrive. King says that he too is facing hard times, but despite having loved to live a long life, “it doesn’t matter about me now…because I have been to the mountain top and I have seen the Promised Land…” and he was confident that his dream would be realised. The message to the teachers was although it is a difficult time, the work they do and the broader shift to at least a general acceptance of diversity is unstoppable. Having acknowledged the difficult issue on people’s minds and seen it in this context was really uplifting, we were then able to discuss other matters.

The following is a more general reflection on speaking out and silence mostly written in 2010 but still relevant.

The obligation to speak out or be silent

If we are silent in the face of apparent injustice, at least certain circumstance we can be considered complicit in it. Speaking Talking about our grievances, might result in resolution, or at least give us the feeling that we did what we can. The negatives of silence need to be considered against the problems arising out of speaking out. In some situations, our critique can be ill-informed, driven by unconscious and unsavory motives, cause unnecessary embarrassment, or fail to achieve anything apart from defensiveness, hostility or even escalated offending behaviour and “push-back”. The Talmud comments about the people in its own time[i], there was no longer anyone with either the ability to offer or accept criticism[ii].

Style. Wording, tone, privacy/audience etc.

“It's not what you say, but how you say it”- is a view that I don't think is true all the time, but it does have some merit. The commandment in Leviticus (19:17) to rebuke, rebuke your fellow[iii]4”, is followed with a caution “and do not bear sin because of him” which is interpreted as demanding concern, in some circumstances, about humiliating the person being criticised.

Being wrong – asking a question

If we approach what appears to be a problematic situation with a recognition that we might not have all the facts, we can carry our responsibility to stand up for justice without judging others unfairly. Our patriarch Jacob sets a friendly tone and uses the approach of asking a question of a group of shepherds that seems to be workers, idle on the job. “My brothers, where are you from?” Jacob begins, after some small talk he observes “The day is still long, it is not time to gather the flocks, give your sheep some drink and go take your sheep to pasture[iv].” The shepherds explain that they are unable to carry out their next task without more help because there is a big stone on top of the well that can only be moved when their colleagues arrive so they can all give water to their sheep. No harm done.

Unresolved issues- One cost of silence

A sad, but rarely discussed episode in the lives of the biblical Rachel and Leah occurs when their brothers and father (Laban) become resentful of Jacob's prosperity. Their brothers are heard saying to anyone, but the accused party “Jacob took (stole) everything that belonged to our father , and from what belonged to our father he created all this honour[v]”. Jacob notices, Laban's face, “and it is clearly not the same as it was yesterday, and the day before that”. He had accepted the slander (Lashon Harah- evil tongue) against Jacob[vi] without bothering to check with Jacob about his side of the story. The opposite of “when a man sins against another man, he should not hate him and be silent...it is a Mitzvah to notify him and say, why did you do this to me?[vii]”

Jacob and his wives, Rachel and Leah discuss the need to leave the employ and town of Laban over his on-going financial mistreatment on the part of their father. The two daughters/wives reply, “Do we still have any part or inheritance in our fathers house? Did he not consider us as strangers to him, selling us and eating our money”. I find it very significant, that neither sister ever said anything to Laban about their hurt feelings or anger about being sold to Jacob. Jacob also does not talk to Laban about his complains about the financial dealings, instead explaining only to his wives that Laban changed “my wages, 10 times”.

Unlikely to be heard

To rebuke someone involves some hope that it might help. The Talmud states that just as we should say words of rebuke that will be heard, it is a Mitzvah (Commandment) not to say that which will not be heard[viii]. As a Christian Australian Member of Parliament, Shayne Neummann, pointed out to me a while back, it is hard to imagine Jacob having any confidence in talking to Laban after he substituted his beloved Rachel with Leah. Especially, considering that when Jacob first protests to Laban “Why did you deceive me”, instead of an apology, Laban attacks Jacob cleverly saying “it is not done thus in our place, the younger before the older”, implying like you who usurped the right of your older brother Esau. Clearly, Laban's rebuke of Jacob is driven by an ulterior motive, seeking to justify his own wrong doing. A caveat on the principle of rebuke that will not be accepted is that in some cases where our silence can be seen as acquiescence, we need to consider the wider audience, not just the perpetrator.

Conclusion

There is a western idea that talking is always good.  I think it is ethical and wise to consider the situation and benefit or harm that will be caused by either speaking or being silent.  

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[i] The content of the Talmud was developed between approximately 100 bc to the year 300 CE

[ii] Arachin 16b. Also discussed on www.chaburas.org/rebuke.html

[iii] Leviticus (19:17)

[iv] Genesis 29:7

[v] Genesis 31:1

[vi] Seforno

[vii] Mimonedes, Yad, hilchot Deot, 6:6

[viii] Talmud, Yevamot 65b