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| Photo By Yaniv G, Permission to use for non-commercial purposes with attribution |
I am thinking about boldness. I am feeling tired of timidly asking
advice. I am wondering if I should show more courage to back myself in spite of
having gotten it wrong sometimes, or is it wiser to prudently seek advice? There
is a part of me that wants to assert myself, throw caution to the wind, just decide
by myself and then do it. How does that gel with the need for Humility? Jews have
thought of bashfulness as one of our three defining positive characteristics[i] yet, we are also called
to boldness[ii] with three
biblical figures all displaying this in some form in the reading Vayeshev.
Boldness vs. Timidity and Bashfulness
A compelling argument is made by
Sir Walter Murdoch that human misery is not caused “a gang of scoundrels so
depraved that they really wish to keep us all poor… There are not enough
scoundrels to go round... The persons we have to face are the dull, the stodgy,
the unimaginative, the ancestor-worshippers, too timid to think for themselves…[iii].
To put it another way, if we use both hands to cover our backsides, we have no
hands to do anything with.
A young Indigenous young boy in the Northern
Territory
Joseph the Bold Dreamer
As an ostracised younger sibling whose brothers disliked him so
intensely they could not even speak to him[vi],
Joseph would have been wise to “pull his head in”. His self appointment as
monitor of his brothers’ behaviour, reporting all “sins” to their father[vii] alienated his
siblings. Yet, Joseph does not lose confidence. Instead he dreams of ruling his
brothers[viii]. Perhaps the
fantasy was a response to the humiliation he suffered, a sentiment expressed as
“the stone the builders scorned, ended up at the top of the corner[ix]”.
In Jewish tradition ‘our dreams at night reflect our thoughts during
the day[x]’. This view of
dreams suggests an element of choice and responsibility for our dreams and explains
why Joseph’s brothers hated him even more on account of his dreams[xi].Remarkably;
the hatred does not cause him to stop dreaming. He dreams again, an even more
grandiose dream. In the second dream the sun and the moon and the stars are bowing
to him. He insists on telling it to his brothers, even as they seek to ignore
him, in his desire to make the dream real[xii].
In spite of his father secretly believing in the dream[xiii],
he pretends to dismiss it. “What is this dream?!” he asks, the implication is “how does your
heart rise to dream this dream, this is nothing but arrogance and youthfulness[xiv]”.
Of course Joseph’s dreams come true. His leadership qualities keep
surfacing. When his brothers sell him into slavery, he rises to become manager
of his master’s house[xv].
When thrown into jail, he ends up running the place[xvi] and concerning
himself with the needs of his fellow prisoners with sensitivity and awareness
of their feelings[xvii]. With the
benefit of hindsight we can see that thanks to the realisation of Joseph’s
dreams, he eventually saves the family and the entire Egypt
Reuben, Boldness Lost?
In contrast with the bold Joseph, Reuben seems timid in his defence of
his younger brother. Perhaps he had the stuffing knocked out of him when he
acted impulsively on his anger[xviii]
to defend his mother’s honour. When
Rachel was alive Jacob’s permanent bed was in her tent. When Rachel's died, instead
of Jacob putting his bed in the tent of his first wife Leah, he moves it to his
concubine Bilhah's tent[xix].
Reuben angrily declares “if my mother’s sister was a rival to my mother,
should the maidservant of my mother’s sister now be a rival to my mother?![xx]” He
moves his father’s bed from her tent and puts it in his mother's tent[xxi].
For years he carries guilt about the episode[xxii]
with Bilhah, even running off to busy himself with fasting at a critical point
in the drama of the sale of Joseph[xxiii].
Joseph’s life was in danger when his brothers consider murdering him.
The Torah testifies that Reuben intended to save him[xxiv].
From Reuben’s words it is not so obvious. Reuben tells the brothers they should
not kill him with their own hands, instead just throw him into a pit. It is
suggested that Reuben initially suggested they should not sin at all with the
boy. When they refused to listen, he changes his tune and partners with them[xxv].
He tries to make it seem that it is not out of love Joseph that he objects to
the act of murder. He implies that his concern is about the difference in the severity
of the punishment for outright murder in comparison to the less severe
punishment for indirectly causing his death[xxvi].
A lesson from Reuben’s failure is that we must do things with a joyous or full
heart, and that if Reuben had done so he would have lifted Joseph on his
shoulder and carried him home to his father[xxvii].
On the other hand Reuben is credited for
being a trailblazer, being the first person to repent[xxviii]
on his own initiative.
Bold Beyond Respectability
Murdoch identifies “respectability” as “something (that) has worked
so consistently against the healthy development of the race has been so
consistently a clog on all progress towards the bettering of the world… (it)has many virtues, but they are the meaner
virtues, the timid virtues, caution, prudence, docility, tameness, discretion.
All the brave, adventurous virtues are regarded by this dingy goddess as silly
or dangerous, or both.
Respectability certainly does not constrain another bold character, the
exceptionally beautiful[xxix]
Tamar, daughter in law of a Judah Judah Judah
David himself famously thumbs his nose at respectability when he jumps
and dances before God’s holy ark. His aristocratic wife, Michal, disgustedly
describes David in his uninhibited dancing as someone “who exposed himself
today in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as would expose himself one
of the idlers.[xxxv]"
Yet, David himself also asserts that it
is the broken and crushed heart that God will not despise[xxxvi].
This links well with the idea that the ambiguous origins of David’s family were
meant to prevent the kings of Judah
Conclusion
It all depends on the situation. There are merits in both reticence and
boldness. Even shame can be a force for good, just as it can be an unhelpful
inhibiting factor. I might feel some shame because a standard had been violated
or it might be that an unjustifiable line drawn by others has rightfully been
crossed. To achieve anything we will often need to bold and take risks. When we
mess up we need to own up and address it, and then try again almost as if we
had never fallen.
[i]
Talmud Yevamot 79a
[ii]
Pirkey Avot 5:20, quoted in Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 1:3, be as bold as a leopard…
[iii]
Sir Walter Murdoch, Collected Essays of Walter Murdoch – “On Dull People” http://r3dux.org/2010/07/collected-essays-of-walter-murdoch-%E2%80%93-on-dull-people/
[iv] Yam shel Shlomo 8:58 (Polish rabbi, Shlomo Luria (c.1510-1573) states:
"Because, for our sins, the ordained are many but the learned few, and the
ignorant are growing numerous; not one of them knows his place and as soon as
he is ordained he begins to act like a lord and collect students at great
expense, as do the noble officials who hire servants to run ahead of them."
Cited by Adam Teller http://www.library.upenn.edu/exhibits/cajs/tradition/toc.html Also
found in Tanya 27
[v] Pirkey Avot 5:7
[vi]
Genesis 37:4
[vii]
Gensis 37:2
[viii] Genesis 37:5-9
[ix]
Psalm 118:22
[x] Talmud Brachot 55b, discussed in Nehama Liebovitz, New Studies In
Bereshit, p.431
[xi] Bchor Shor
[xii] Lekach Tov, a dream that is not interpreted is like a letter that
has not been read
[xiii] Berasheet Rabba 84: “He took a pen and wrote down the date and
time and place” of the dream, Rashi: he was waiting for it to come true, Seforno: “he thought that the dream will come
true and he desired and look forward to it being fulfilled, while Sefer
Hayashar has Jacob kiss him and bless him when he hears it. Clearly his criticism
of Joseph was a show for the brothers to defuse their jealousy
[xiv] Ramban
[xv] Genesis 39:4
[xvi] Genesis 39:22-23
[xvii] The Lubavitcher Rebbe as explained by R. Yosef Y Jacobson
[xviii] Rashi to Genesis 49:4
[xix] Talmud Shabbat 55
[xx] Rashi to Genesis 35:22
[xxi] This is explored more fully in my post http://torahforsociallyawarehasid.blogspot.com/2010/11/shame-pride-striving-case-of-reuben.html
[xxii] The literal meaning of the text is “When his father lived in
that land, Reuben went and slept with Bilhah, his father's concubine”.
[xxiii] Beresheet Rabba 84
[xxiv] Genesis 37:22
[xxv] Bchor Shor
[xxvi] Ramban
[xxvii] Vayikra Rabba 34:9, this would have happened if Reuben realised
that the Torah would right about his trying to save his brother
[xxviii] Beresheet Rabba 84
[xxix] Midrash Hagadol cited in Torah Shelaima, p. 1449
[xxx] a brother of both Joseph and Reuben
[xxxi] Genesis 38:6-16
[xxxii] Talmud Sotah 10b
[xxxiii] Rashi to Genesis 38:14
[xxxiv] Bchor Shor, interesting to compare this with the perspective given
in Tanya that when a person is depressed he is most vulnerable to his evil inclination
as his resistance is down
[xxxv] Samuel II, 6:14-20
[xxxvi] Psalm 51
[xxxvii] Radak
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