“Just ask me, instead of
making assumptions about me.” This is a sentiment I have heard expressed
numerous times from Muslims. A key principle in interfaith dialogue is to find
out about people directly from them rather than simply relying on what one
reads. In this post I share my response to a Muslim PhD student, who put this
principle into practice. She had read the Torah in translation, and it seemed
to her that women had a low status in Judaism. However, her sister-in-law is
involved with Together For Humanity, so this student reached out to me via her
sister-in-law. The following is my response to her question.
I write from the
perspective of a Jewish man within the orthodox and Chabad Hasidic traditions,
and as an ordained Rabbi. I do not speak for other orthodox communities or
non-orthodox or progressive movements in Judaism. I cannot do justice to this
topic in a brief essay, and I recommend further research on this topic.
There are certainly
teachings in Judaism that position women as wise and of an elevated status.
Perhaps, the most prominent of these is God’s statement to Abraham: “Everything
that Sarah tells you, listen to her voice.” (1) This is interpreted as
reflecting Sarah’s status as a prophet. Sarah’s voice is the voice of the holy
spirit. This teaches us that Abraham was inferior to Sarah in their respective
levels of prophecy (2).
Sarah’s status in this
instance is not isolated. Rebecca is also seen as superior in wisdom to her
husband, Isaac, regarding which of her children was truly deserving of
blessings (3). This view of women is reflected in an often quoted statement: “Additional
capacity for understanding has been granted to the woman.” (4) This
teaching influences the way some Jewish men and women relate to each other.
This is further reinforced by the requirement for men to respect their wives,
as it is stated: “A man must treat his wife with great respect, ‘honoring
her more than himself.” (5)
On the other hand, there
is also a teaching that “women’s minds are light” (6). In practice, only men,
but not women, are considered proper witnesses (7). The application of this law
is seen at orthodox wedding ceremonies, where the witnesses are never women. At
least one source links the restriction on women serving as witnesses to a
perception of the female mind (8). There are clearly exceptions where women’s testimony is accepted.
One example is that “the
testimony of women is accepted if they testified that the husband of a woman
has died so that she can remarry” (9). There are other exceptions, including testimony
regarding ritual and other matters (10).
There have been several attempts to
reconcile these two attitudes to the female mind, including one that
differentiates between various cognitive functions (11). One practical
difference reflecting attitudes to women, is the average length of advanced
Jewish education offered in my community. Men typically do advanced Jewish
learning for 6-7 years after high school, but for women it is 2 years. I hope
that this will change over time. I draw inspiration from a tradition about women
who stood up for their rights, and these rights were legitimised by God
himself, through Moses. I refer to the case of the daughters of Tzelafchad, who
demanded a portion of the land (12).
My own written research of this topic
includes 20 articles (13), including my reflection on naming my daughter (14),
but I am far from an expert on this question. I will conclude with a quote from
a learned Chasidic woman: “As I was growing up, there was nothing I felt was
beyond my reach, except perhaps synagogue life as enjoyed by the men. This
often seemed unfair, but there was an understanding that this was just the way
it was... Yes, there were things I wished I could do. But I lived in a world of
absolutes, the Torah world. I loved that world and I knew it to be true. If in
a world of absolutes there were certain things a woman didn't do... I just
wouldn't do them even if I wanted to. They never loomed all-important. The joy
and potential for fulfilment in the Chassidic-Jewish lifestyle, coming from
knowing who you are and having a sense of direction and purpose in life, was
far more significant… I know that after all of the arguments, refutations and
debate, something must speak to the soul.” (15)
Notes:
1.
Genesis 21:12
2.
Rashi’s commentary on Genesis 21:12
3.
Genesis 25:28 and 27:5-10
4.
Talmud, Nida 45b
6.
Talmud Shabbat 33b
7.
Talmud Shavuos 30a, Maimonides, Mishneh
Torah, laws of wittnesses 9:2
8.
Sefer Hachinuch Mitzvah 122 ונוהגת בכל מקום
ובכל זמן בזכרים אבל לא בנשים שאין הנשים בתורת עדות לקלות דעתן
9.
Mishnah Yevamot 16:16
10.
See https://jewinthecity.com/2018/06/yes-women-can-be-witnesses-in-jewish-courts/ and https://jwa.org/encyclopedia/article/legal-religious-status-of-jewish-female) .
11.
הלל מאירס https://www.hidabroot.org/question/192552 א. הריטב"א במסכת נדה (דף מה עמוד ב) מסביר שמה שכתוב שהקב"ה נתן בינה יתירה לאישה יתר מאשר
לאיש, הכוונה שההבנה של האישה ממהרת לבוא אצל האישה בגיל יותר מוקדם מאשר האיש,
ולא שיש לה יותר הבנה מהאיש. וכתב שמוכרחים לומר כך כדי שלא יהיה סתירה מדברי חז"ל שאומרים שנשים דעתן קלה, ע"ש. וכן מבואר בתוספות הרא"ש בנדה שם. וכן תירצו היפה תאר והעץ יוסף על המדרש (בראשית
רבה פרשה יח פרק א) ובספר בניהו בנדה שם. ב. בעיון יעקב בנדה שם תירץ, שקודם
שנתקללה האשה נתן בה בינה יתירה. אולם אחר שחטאה ואין אדם חוטא עד שנכנס בו רוח
שטות נלקח ממנה הבינה, יעויין שם בדבריו. ג. התורה תמימה (בראשית פרק ב אות מט)
כתב שאין כאן סתירה, יען שכשרונות הבינה והדעת שונים הם, כי הדעת היא הבאה במושכל
ראשון, ובינה היא חריצות השכל הבאה לאחר התבוננות, ע"ש. וכן ראה עוד בתורה תמימה (דברים פרק יא אות מח), ע"ש.
12.
Numbers
27:1-7
14.
http://torahforsociallyawarehasid.blogspot.com/2013/03/naming-daughter-aspiration-recognition.html
15.
Slonim,
R, Chassidic Feminist My Personal Experiences http://www.chabad.org/theJewishWoman/article_cdo/aid/1335/jewish/Chassidic-Feminist.htm
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