Acknowledging our shadow selves and prejudices - Lech Lcha

In striving to improve ourselves and transcend our prejudices, we invariably fall short. It is imperative to be aware of our own limitations. One can aim too high, with destructive results. My colleague Donna Jacobs Sife taught me to acknowledge any prejudicial thoughts that may arise in my mind and to deal with these rather than remain unaware of them. Let us explore the case of Sarah, the partner (1) and wife of Abraham, in how she related to Hagar, who happened to be an Egyptian woman, after her own terrible experience with Egyptians. 

 

Sarah was a prophet (2). Alongside her husband, she converted non-believers to ethical monotheism (3). Yet, she afflicted her maidservant, Hagar (4), physically - throwing shoes at her face (5) - emotionally and verbally (6), to such an extent that Hagar fled their home. Her harsh behaviour is criticized as sinful (7) and as a failure of ethics (8). Here is some more of her story.   

 

Sarah and her husband were promised children and blessings by God (9). However, instead of blessing, they faced a famine (10). To escape the famine they travelled to Egypt. On arrival there, Abaraham asked Sarah to lie about their relationship, instead she should say that she was his sister rather than his wife because he was afraid that he would be killed by the Egyptians, who would be attracted to his beautiful wife. Indeed, Abraham was left alone while Sarah was taken to the Pharaoh to become his wife. She narrowly escaped this fate (11).  

 

After this ordeal, Sarah remained childless. Yet, unlike other biblical women who appeared very distraught about this (12), Sarah seemed quite matter of fact about it. She requested that Abaham have a child with her maidservant Hagar and gave her to him to become his second wife (13). Sarah appeared to reflect a “deep sense of security and personal connection to her husband, [to such an extent that] she was willing for Abraham to have children by another woman because she felt certain that the ties between them (14)” were far deeper and spiritual.     

 

It did not quite work out so well. Hagar lost respect for Sarah when Hagar fell pregnant while Sarah remained barren (15). The tensions (16) for Sarah at this point reached boiling point. Sarah cried out bitterly to her husband. “I left the house of my birth and my father, and came with you ...I have gone in with you before ...Pharaoh King of Egypt... and I said of you, he is my brother, so that they might not kill you. ...I took Hagar the Egyptian, my handmaid, and gave her to you as a wife, ...But now my honour is cheapened and despised in her eyes. May the Lord judge between me and you, ...that we may not need the son of Hagar the Egyptian handmaid” (17).

 

Perhaps Sarah was too ambitious in taxing her “moral and spiritual powers” when she set aside her inevitable feelings of displacement as Abraham’s wife (18) and chose not to acknowledge her past trauma with other Egyptians and resultant generalised animosity she felt toward them. Sarah might have thought that she doesn’t need to bother with ‘petty little feelings’. Yet regardless of one’s greatness, “every living heart, feels” (19). On another occasion Sarah experienced a lack of faith, yet she denied this was the case because she was afraid (20). She believed that it was improper to acknowledge or “own” her doubts (21). 

 

I am writing in the shadow of the US presidential election and terrorist attacks in Europe. There is an ocean of pain, injustice and anger that needs to be acknowledged and dealt with. As always, part of the job to look inward inside ourselves. As we strive to be our best selves, let us never lose sight of our own feelings, and be alert to our unconscious biases, so that we may care for ourselves and do right by others. 

 

Notes

Image by Jo Power https://www.flickr.com/people/23623021@N02 used under Creative Commons License

1.      Steinsaltz, A. (1984), Biblical Images, Men and Women of the book. Basic Books. 

2.      Talmud, Megillah 14a

3.      Bereshit Rabba, 39:24

4.      Genesis 16:6 

5.      Bereshit Rabba, 45

6.      Radak

7.      Ramban

8.      Radak

9.      Genesis 12:2, and 12:7

10.   Genesis 12:10

11.   Genesis 12:11-19

12.   Rachel in Genesis 30:1 says give me children and if not I will die, see also Hannah in Samuel I, 1. Contrast is highlighted by Steinsaltz, A. (1984), Biblical Images, Men and Women of the book. Basic Books, p. 25

13.   Genesis 16:1-3

14.   Steinsaltz, A. (1984), Biblical Images, Men and Women of the book. Basic Books, p. 25

15.   Sacks, J. (2009), Covenant & Conversation, Genesis, p. 91

16.   Genesis 16:3-4

17.   Genesis 16:6 as translated in Targum Yonatan & Targum Yerushalmi

18.   Lebovitz, N. (Undated) New Studies Bereshit, p. 156,

19.   Ohr Hachayim, to Leviticus 9:1 

20.   Genesis 18:12-15

21.   Ohr Hachayim, to Genesis 18:15